STOP!! IT BEGINS WITH YOU STOP COMPLAINING

I don't know why people actually enjoy dwelling on the negative, rebranding starts with the individual each man change his mind set. We have stayed so long in a place.

Even if we killed or banished all the rich men/people we say are destroying Nigeria and their children will we be able to make Nigeria a better place by our words and criticism? NO! we wont.

Then let us focus on something that will actually make us that people that we want the world to see. Most of the people complaining would do same if they were given position of power.

I AM TIRED OF PEOPLE SITTING IN THEIR HOMES AND COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW BAD LIFE IS!!

When will Nigerians remember to take action and not just blow hot air?

When will they be able to work towards moving their hopes forward?

God is not a magician and so we cannot sit in our comfort zone while we expect him to wave his magic wand and make everything better. We just sit in our homes, churches or mosques and pray and do nothing.

I have come across Pastors that put God in a box on a shelf when they want to do business or have extra marital relationships, I have heard of religious people in all religions that do same.

Nigerians want to have the best of everything, good road, good education, good family, abundant food supply, constant electricity and yet we are the same ones that are corrupt in the little things we do.

Those of you that travel to this said countries and nations that are great, do you not pay tax?

Do you leave the light on when you are not home? Do you delay in paying your bills?

Do you not strive hard to learn or do you go to your lecturer to bribe him so you can pass?

Do you not attend lectures religiously?

How many of you eat something in the bus and throw the rubbish on the streets?

How many of you urinate in the streets?

Please if we cannot change our ways then let us leave the overly corrupt to continue to rule.

Change begins from within the individual. Remember “ he who prays for the good of Jerusalem?”

Abeg make una leave off this constant gnawing on a bone that has long since lost its nutrients and is no longer of use to its owner.

Throw it away and get a better one, a better mindset for the new year that would help us all to move to where we wanna be. We have dwelt long enough in one place.

Evil will only have room to operate when it is given a long rope to operate with. We are reaping the fruit of what we sowed by our inaction and folding of hands.

Today it is Farouk AbdulMutalib, tomorrow who?

Morals go a long way in the life of a child.

When we refused to train our children someone else did and gave him a bad orientation, one that is speaking for us now.

I am tired my friends and fellow Nigerians.

I am tired! LET US REBRAND OURSELVES, IT BEGINS WITH YOU!!

Does Nigeria Have a future?

Earlier today I had a conversation with my guardian and the conversation started with a question, “does Nigeria have a future?” I wondered why he had asked that particular question considering the fact that he is a proudly naija man. I asked him the reason for the question and our conversation moved further than I had anticipated. I realized that this was something that we would all want to have a say in so I copied the chat and here it is below:

08:20Sokefun

this naija get future soooooo

08:21Campbell

yes it does

just hang in there

08:22Sokefun

ok oooooo

08:22Campbell

why do u ask?

08:23Sokefun

we seem to be going two steps forward and another six backwards

08:23Campbell

hmmm.......... well depends on what angle u looking at it

08:26Sokefun

governance

for a start

for a start

08:27Campbell

well the people up there know what is right but doing what is right will not favour their own agenda so they do what is wrong

the country going back and forth is a strategy for them to be able to do what they like when they like it

08:28Sokefun

so , where do we go from here

08:28Campbell

remember that the democracy in nigeria is peculiar to only nigeria

08:28Sokefun

when the wrong thing is the norm

08:28Campbell

the rottenness starts from individuals and i keep telling people that

u cant change what is at the top when the foundation itself is bad

we can not renovate which is what we are trying to do, it wont work we have to rebuild

its everyman build yourself and be a better you

08:30Sokefun

well i agree

08:31Campbell

so that is where we have the solution o!

individual effort but even the complaining nigerians wants to eat their cake and have it which is stupid

08:32Sokefun

poverty, thats the wahala

08:32Campbell

no egbon mi

poverty is not the wahala

the problem is people think in terms of "me" and not "us"

there is nowhere that is done and their can be peace or stability

a lot of other countries do not have the resources naija has yet they are not termed as poor

why? cos they have all decided to pull together and u will not hear them speak bad of their motherland

08:34Sokefun

if your future is not guaranteed by the system

08:34Campbell

which a naija man can do from morning till night

08:34Sokefun

what do you do

you think of yourself only

08:35Campbell

then u must guarantee it by your own effort to bring a solution to the lives of people around u

08:35Sokefun

we are sunken so deep

08:35Campbell

if u think of urself only then the fear and dissatisfaction will continue to grow

but not in a quicksand which makes it easier for us to climb out dust ourselves and begin to move on the right part

08:36Sokefun

we are too sunken

Sokefun

we are too sunken

and dissatisfaction would grow no doubt

08:37Campbell

yes as long as we continue to put ourselves first then it will

its God first, all others then me

08:38Sokefun

i wish I cans share your ideals

so lofty

so workable in ideal societies

08:38Campbell

its not lofty but even lofty ideas can be attained

08:39Sokefun

but in Nija ?????????????????

08:39Campbell

it is workable in naija provided we start on individual basis

countries that had been in worse situations have done it and succeeded

You know after the chat and we had moved on to something else I still wondered about my response and I remember a particular line in the Nigerian National Anthem which goes thus, “great lofty heights attained to build a nation where peace and justice shall reign”.

Why do we collectively feel that the problem is the government when we as individuals are not ready to change our own way of life? Why must our leaders be better individuals when the collective population and the average Nigerian is not willing to change? If we want change then we must also embrace the change we so much clamour for.

What do you say?

THE WORLD

The world is a stage

Where we all have a part to play

Which depends on ones willingness

And the ability put into it

Life is a lottery

There are many ups and downs

Which is all part of life

And ultimately a game of chance

Life is a gamble

Throw the wrong number

And you’ll have yourself to blame

On the other hand you might win handsomely

The world is a market square

We have all come to buy and sell

The goods are on display to see

Our kingdom is yet to come

The world is reaching out in nobody

Love all being and hate all evil

Have faith in yourself

And never say you have failed

© Campbell Mariam Oluwatoyin

LIFE IS WORTH A LOT.

This morning I left my home for work, I was not very happy because I just got a disappointment. I was trying to push myself to point where nothing but God matters when suddenly.....................

The driver of the bus I had boarded started shouting, "that vehicle is going to turn over" over and over again. Before we knew what had happened a trailer and turned over on the express. We were in the bus and the driver did not bother to stop but this is what we saw.

The front wind screen of the trailer had crashed and the driver ran out with blood on his face, one of the passengers was lying on the road dead, while about two others were trapped under the vehicle. Its so sad that we have placed our quest and search for money even over the safety of our lives.

Why have I said this? Simply because the driver did not have a seat belt neither did the person sitting beside him. Then there is also the people riding with the trailer that sit in the section where the load is kept. They don’t even have any form of protection or safety.

Last year around December, another accident happened along Apapa-Oshodi express way that involved a heavy duty truck that belonged to a prominent company in Nigeria. Lives were lost, all because of carelessness and no value for life.

Is life so unimportant or of no much value and worth that we fail to protect it, even if it’s our life? Have we forgotten that it is only when we are alive that we can enjoy the money we struggle so hard to have? Do we not understand that the most important thing to us is the life that God has given us? What about the people we have left behind? How do they survive? How wicked can we be to ourselves?

Sometimes I harden my heart to situations like this, it’s so sad that a wonderful life that could end up been one of the greatest that Nigeria ever had was lost dues to carelessness. It’s a shame that today someone said goodbye to her son, or husband; a child said good bye to his or her dad with the hope of seeing him later in the day. The only thing they would hear today is the news of death, death of their loved one, the bread winner of the family and probably the only source of income. What they would be in search of now is not where the next meal will be coming from but how do we bury this man?

Please let us place more value on our lives if not for us then for those that love us and depend on us. Let us not give our families a pain which might never go away. Let us live our lives with the utmost care. We know that only God can protect, “but Folorunsho to figi ogede gun ope………” (he who says he has God and continues to put himself in danger…………) what will become of him?

Nigeria and your people need you alive, God needs you alive. Remember also that the good you do will speak for you on that day as well.

May God help us all!!

INDIVIDUALISM - THE "ME" SYNDROME!!

As I read the book, "The complete Idiot's Guide to philosophy" by Jay Stevenson, it amazes me the effect of being, knowing and ethics on individuals and society. Honestly? I never knew philosophy was this interesting!

Please read the excerpt I have culled out of the book, I have decided to share this because I saw a little of me here.

Individualism is the view that individual rights and freedoms should form the basis of society. Collectivism is the view that the stability of society is more important than individual rights and freedoms.

Me First

The downside of individualism is that individualists sometimes forget how important other people are in their lives. We all need help from other people whether we realize it or not, even if we think we are independent. Say, for example, a person becomes successful partly because of opportunities resulting from personal connections. If this person is an individualist, she is likely to overlook the social connections involved and take the full credit for her success.

Not only might this person be ungrateful, she is likely to be unsympathetic toward people who don’t have the right connections themselves. Individualists tend to look at those who are unsuccessful as being at fault for their lack of success. When they see a homeless or an unemployed person, they don’t say to themselves, “That person needs more help”—they say “That person should have tried harder to succeed.”

This is only one of the problems with individualism. Another is that it encourages people to be competitive rather than cooperative. Individualists tend to be out for themselves, often at the expense of others. Still, this doesn’t mean that it’s always better to emphasize the good of society over the good of the individual.

The above philosophy does not honour God neither does it build growth. If we check ourselves and find we are involved in this we must do an about turn to colectivism

THE ME I SEE

On a faithful day some decades ago there was a lot of rejoicing and happiness when a new baby girl was born into the world. Little did the world know that that little girl child would go through pains and so much trials and still be single.

Growing up was fun, because even if I was not born with a golden spoon in my mouth at least I had the proverbial silver spoon to hold on to. Things were good! In a time when Nigeria was growing my parents were actually among one of the very comfortable ones.

Life for the little Girl I was back then, was laced with comfort and joy and even though I saw people with not so much as we had, it never occurred to me that we could end up in penury or that my dad's numerous companies could all go bankrupt. But then what did a little girl know? My early years in school were the best and that was because I did not only learn, I had the best teacher ever, MY DAD!

Anyway, thing started unraveling in my secondary school days. Life was beginning to get hard and I began to have an understanding of what going to bed without food meant, not having the money to buy that which you wanted when you wanted it was a major issue. The fact that we end up blaming life for our situations also became something I had to learn and then another thing I had to unlearn as the times went by. I grew up knowing that life was not really as we had lived it while growing up but that sometimes "things just go wrong" Why? I don't know but really I have no intention of pushing blame.

Later in my early 20s I began to understand that we alone can carve our own destinies, not our parents, not our situation and most importantly not our government. I had spent 5 years at home waiting to gain admission into the university, and then suddenly it dawned on me that if I continued to sit at home I might never go to university. So I determined in myself in 1997 that once i sat for the exam and I made the average score I was going to get admission and you know what? I DID! It was not as difficult as I had thought neither was it as easy as we all think it was. But I was able to get admission into 2 universities the same year.

What was left was where was the money going to come from? I was stumped but then I said to myself, you are in and nothing would stop you from graduating. Then and there I decided I would make good use of what I had. I started making hair for friends since I was good at that. Then I started home coaching later on when friends would make hair and not pay. I did a lot of jobs in the university but I also enjoyed my time there as well. I remember the days of been ever present at the student union arcade, the joy of been part of the activism (at least to a level) and the enjoyment of making good grades in spite of work and play. I was not at my best but I did my best, both at work and at school.

But then the learning was not over. I had to learn that the universities in Nigeria never prepare you for the outside world and I learnt the hard way. With what I had, I found it hard to get a job coupled with the fact that I was already nearing my 3.0 years and I did not serve with my mates. It was so bad at one time that I wondered if I was going to have to go get married first before getting a job. But then I realise that I don't have a job because I don't have any skills to offer any employer. So I started to build and build and here I am now I don't just have the skills but I am very proud of where I am and give thanks to my creator for his grace and love.

I grew up as a snob that selected friends and found it hard to relate with anyone below my level, but now I can relate with anyone whatever and where ever. It’s a great thing to know that all it took for me was that decision to be the creator of my own destiny. To take my destiny (the one that God gave me) in my own hands and make of it what I dream of in the dead of the night.

I am not there yet but at least now I know that I will get there. When? I can't tell you for sure, but when I do get there I will let you know.

Power of the People!!

Today I saw first hand how Nigerians can as a force collectively work together to achieve a positive growth!!

I had planned my day day but somehow i had to add to the plan so I could make time to meet another responsibility. Like most changes, it required additional resources even though I had looked at what I had and assumed that It would be okay.

After leaving the last place of appointment (the added appointment), I got to the bus-stop to realize that the Transporters had tripled the fare. It was crazy!! It is not new that their was a crowd at the bus-stop no. what I found fascinating was that this people actually refused to pay above the normal rate. Even though some would come and board at the inflated rate, the others refused.

Out of nowhere came this Patriotic Nigerian dressed in suit and looking quite elegant, he insisted that no one should board any of the vehicles. the park touts took it up with him and suddenly the others on the outside looking in joined and it was the passengers against the bus drivers and touts. It was a sight to behold. No fighting just an insistence that the fair should be brought down.

I had to leave the bus-stop for a while cos I had to go meet someone but when I got back MAGIC!! The fare was back to the normal price and their was no longer crowd at the bus-stop. I was proud to be a Nigerian. Like my people would say, "e sweet my belle say dis kain tin fit hapen"

Reflecting on this I realized that collectively we can have the change we want if we want it enough. Today this people realized that it is their right to dictate the price and that they could if they worked together. One person stood up to lead a group of people with a common goal and the others followed in his quest.

If we can come together and find that common goal, work together to see it happen then we would be better off for it. All that is needed is for us to realize that the destiny of the country is in our hands and not those in power!

God bless Nigeria!

God bless Nigerians!!

The Dawn of a New Generation!! Nigeria @ 51!!!

I went to a vigil yesterday and it was great why? because as we started the vigil we were asked to give thanks that today we are here as Nigerians united under one umbrella praying together. It was awesome! Then a few minutes ago my friend was chatting with me and she asks "you had not said anything about the independence, you of all people". I laughed and thought what else can one say to a generation just growing?

However, I remember the first independence celebration I watched on TV. Yeah I remember our silver jubilee and if you ask me that was the best Independence ceremony Nigeria ever had that i soooooooooo enjoyed. The theme was great and for me since then I strongly understood the value of unity. Sticking out together as one!

Today Nigeria is 1 year into the second generation of a people free from colonial masters. We moved out of Egypt but the sad part is that like the Israelite did after leaving Egypt we still moving round in the wilderness. Israel was supposed to spend less than 2 months crossing over to the promised land but they spent 40years doing what they should have done in 40days.

You know why? They never looked forward; not to the future or to the promises that God gave them. All they could think of was the fact that they never had to be responsible for anything except "be a slave". Feeding, sleeping, washing, even the sex of the children they had was determined by their masters. So much so that they lacked the power to think for themselves, they just existed.

Our generation; those of us that were born after the independence in 1960 is a year old today. However, we still allow our lives to be dictated by the mistakes of the first generation and the masters they got their training from. Honestly I must tell you it is only a person with slave mentality and the fear of been responsible that will hoard for himself not having the hope of surviving on his own.

What we need are Nigerians of young mind and uncommon sense that would take responsibility for freedom. I once read a book by Myles Monroe, it was titled the burden of freedom. I guess most of us have not read it abi? Anyway the book tells us the difference between a slave generation, a delivered generation and a truly free generation. A slave generation is a zombie nation with no thought for the past and non for the future, the only thing he is good for is serving the master. The delivered generation is happy to be free of its master but does not want the responsibility of thinking and planning for his future. He would rather give that to "A Moses" to do. If he is hungry "Moses" does something about it, if he needs to pee "Moses" does something about it. And then if he needs to hear from God"Moses" does the hearing then he relates it to him. He does not want a part of the God who gave him responsibility as well as freedom. The truly free generation is the one that takes the deliverance and converts it into ownership by taking responsibility for his future.

The Israelite never understood this and neither did Adam in the garden. God called, Adam answered. When he was asked did you eat the fruit, he replies not with an apology but he shelves the responsibility for his act on the guy that gave him life (his creator). The way he saw it; if God had not made woman he would not have sinned. Very funny I am sure the devil would have found another way. Imagine what would have happened if Adam had come out accepting he was wrong and asks for a chance to make amends?

Our generation must stand up and be responsible. Create jobs instead of waiting for one to be offered to us. Study hard, buy books, read had instead of waiting for the government to fill the library and the lecturers to teach us what we need to know. Talk directly to your maker instead of waiting for a "Pastor" that would fast on your behalf. Lets be creative, innovative, truly free and be Nigerian.

Ours is the generation that counts!!

We are the Joshua generation that crossed Jordan and got the land that was promised our fathers. They dreamt of freedom of been independent, but they forgot to dream of true freedom because to be truly free we must hold the future by the throat and direct it the way we know it should be. We must be willing to take care of the house we live in but did not build, water the grapes that we will harvest but did not plant, pave the roads of our lives that was we move on but did not build. We must be willing to live a freedom we have but did not work for.

WE MUST BE READY TO WORK!! WE ARE JUST A YEAR OLD, THIS SECOND GENERATION OF OURS AND YET WE ARE NOT YET IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT. I WONDER WHY?

I AM PROUD TO BE NIGERIAN, MY HEAD ARE LIFTED HIGH AND I WOULD NOT WISH TO BE CALLED BY ANY OTHER NATIONALITY EXCEPT "A NIGERIAN"

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE MY PEOPLE. GOD BLESS NIGERIA AND GOD BLESS US ALL!!

IS DATING BIBLICAL?

As I enter into the room full of youths, I quietly find a seat at the back of the back, after greeting my Pastor who I saw seated a few feet away from me, so as not to disturb the flow of the workshop going on.

I was listening with amazement to some of the responses that a few youths gave to the question “Is dating biblical?” I simply smiled at some of the responses. Well you should have been there, they were simply funny.

First I don’t think I ever came across the word ‘dating’ in the bible. It could be there and I might not have noticed though. Please let me know where it is if you have come across it. Second, some of them don’t even actually know what the word meant! You could deduct that from their responses that they thought they knew but do not. Ah yes! Back to the koko of the matter…………

The thing is as I sat thinking, Pastor asked someone to call me. I looked his way and he pointed to the front of the hall, and I thought “I hope he is not saying what I think he means”. Then I go to him and he says “go and answer that question”. I was surprised!

Anyway I go the front give my answer starting with the meaning and making everyone realize that as long as we live within the confines of the meaning of the word nothing is wrong with dating and that dating can be fun. You can take your dad out on a date or a friend of the same sex. Basically dating is just going out and having a nice time. Then I get home and go into the dictionary for the meaning of the word date and I am floored…. Aside from time at which things happen or is about to happen; a meeting; and make an appointment with, the dictionary also gives the meaning of date as ‘go out together as sexual partners’. So I realize that they are not off the mark at all since they look at it from that perspective and so I begin to wonder.

If dating were to be biblical which of the meaning would it encourage? Going put as sexual partners is also a meeting and it’s an event as well. So I wonder myself and then as I go into the word I realize that the most applicable biblical context would be meeting with friends or family without the sexual additions.

So if the dictionary tells us that dating is going out as sexual partners the what would courtship be?

Perspectivessssssss.................

Friday evening going home from work.........
I am in a bus thinking of how terrible the traffic is and how many hours it would take me to get home from where I was. The heavy build up of traffic was a long one. Suddenly a few miles on the traffic is gone and the road is free! What do you think ran through my mind? This is the way life is and even business! You start out the day and it seems as if nothing will work or that business will be dull, then out of nowhere things start working out.

In some other cases.........
You start out a journey and the road is free and its seems its going to be smooth sailing but then almost to the end of your journey you meet with a terrible traffic that lasts hours. This is another paradox of life, letting you know that its not always as smooth as we want it to be.

You wake up in the morning.........
The sun is not out and the rain is pouring. You need to be at a meeting and looking at the time you are already late! Leaving the house nothing works according to plan. First the car does not start, the Tyre is flat and the rain has flooded the road in places that driving is a disaster.

What a way to go.............
When you find criminals been celebrated and honorable men waiting in the shadows."Ni ilu to l'oba to ni Ijoye?" People are funny at times, ascribing the role of messiah to criminals who will just continue to blindfold them while he bleeds them dry like a leach.

Looking through a mirror..................
Most times we look and just go away without the picture in our head. We forget thatno6thing is as it seems and so life will continue to pass us by if we don't sit up and play our part. It takes you standing in front of the mirror before you can see yourself and the size and position of the mirror determines how much of yourself you can see. Mirrors this days are no longer rose colored either so take time to properly position yourself.

What we see is what we get.............
Everyday we look around and blame the whole world but ourselves for whatever situation we find ourselves in. We fail to realize that what we have today is a culmination of what we have been building for a long time. Growing and nurturing it to where it is today and yet we refuse to embrace it for what it is? When we encourage negativity and all things bad it is impossible for us to get something else from life aside from what we have sown.

Perspectivessssssss.................
The enjoyment that we think we get from life sometimes results in pain. Really freedom and responsibility means the same thing. It means free dominion and responding to the ability to make choices. What we chose to respond to and how we are able to exploit our dominion is then left to us while God watches on.

Put life in a better perspective and remember its not always as it seems!

THE ONLY REAL SECURITY

If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man can have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience and ability. – Emile Coue

This past year a lot of us have learnt that no one is truly secure in his or her job and if your job is not secure then a whole lot of other things are not. So many people lost jobs, their position in life and family, or their businesses. For some it was easy to start over while others don’t even know where to start from.

We have been so focused on money, the freedom it gives, the things it can buy the power that goes with it and the individual invisibility. Yet we fail to realize that without a whole lot of the other things in life, money as we see and know or feel it will not bring security, joy or independence. Most times we become slaves to money without even knowing it and since we have continued to remain at a place in terms of knowing, ability and experience it becomes difficult for us to move to the next stage in our lives.

It is said that knowledge is power, but on its own knowledge is not enough. The training over time (formal and informal), giving an accumulated experience of life and work combined with our power to do something or make things happen, gives the security we need and deserve. For us, we must familiarize ourselves with the things around us and which are important to us, having an understanding of how, when, where, what and who of it. As we continue to involve ourselves in activities, events, and everything around us and practice the skills these involvements gives us we would gain more ground and power to make things happen. This would make it possible for people to seek us out because of their need to share in the security that we have and can offer to them.

This true and real security will move you forward and put you at the top wherever you find yourself. It is important that we seek knowledge diligently, get wisdom through our experiences and in so doing acquire the power we need to not just survive in life but to also excel in life. True security is the freedom we get from pursuing knowledge which gives us the ability to become wise. Therefore pursue freedom and be secure!!

PRESS ON

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “press on” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race. – Calvin Coolidge.

Imagine what would have happened or were we would be now if Thomas Edison had given up after the 10th try or maybe the 300th try of working on inventing the electric lamp. Imagine where South Africa would be this day if Nelson Mandela had given up the fight against apartheid. Take your mind back and imagine what would be the lot of the African Americans today if all the past redemption fighters had kept quiet. It goes on and on with a wonder on the determination and persistence of people in bringing about a change and ensuring that life is better for all.

The grave is full of talented men and women who had so much potential but no staying power. Even in the here and now, we have talented individuals and geniuses who have done nothing to benefit others from their so called talents. They find it difficult to “press on”, for them the slightest challenge or opposition stops them in their tracks. They just give up on making a mark.

It is somewhat a big deal to continue going on in the face of challenges and opposition. For a lot of us we let go of a lot of the things we want to do or think is right. Why? We give so many reasons but the most common is that of making a living. So many forget they have a talent because they need to make a living. They worry over the fact that working on their talent or skills and building a life from it would result in years of hunger. The “staying power” of persistence is not present neither are we determined in “sticking on” to our course until we are able to achieve success.

Everyone in life that has been successful with what they do and their dreams stood their grounds on what they want out of life. For them every obstacle was seen as a hurdle on the race track and without overcoming it you can’t get to the finish line. Some kick it out of the way, some jump over it and some fly over it, whichever way you can hurdles are meant to be overcome with determination.

Continuing to move on in your course of action not looking at or listening to the opposing challenges will put you above with time. Just as we have imagined at the start of this write up, I want you to imagine how wonderful it would be if you are to persevere and finally get to that place you want the end result will be every time that things look bad or it seems you are in a rut bring out the picture and keep going. Let your picture of success be the motivating factor to keep you pressing on and moving forward. Remember that no matter that with determination and persistence you can be who you want to be, you can move mountains and you change your lot in life.

Chose today to “press on”, persist on that dream and be determined to succeed. For you, let the sky be the beginning and not your limit!

LEND A HAND GIVE A HAND

There is a saying in my native tongue (the Yoruba language) which says, “One hand alone cannot lift a load to put on the head” and so I start with this saying. Imagine that you are at a crossroad with a heavy load you need to carry on your head. Would it be possible to tie one of your hands at your back and use just one hand to lift the load on your head? Or would it be possible for you to lift a 50kg bag on your own head without help? Why is it that the market women in spite of everything would ask the person closest to them to help them with their loads?

That’s because one hand alone can’t lift a load to put on the head to do that you need the helping of another able and willing hand. Are your hands helping or willing? Do you lend a hand or give a hand or are you the type that sees someone in need and just pass by with giving a thought to helping out? Do we need to remember the story of the good Samaritan? I remember a phrase one of my friends loves using “right back at you!” she says it with so much finesse that I began to wonder the weight of the phrase.

That is exactly it with lending a hand to the guy next to you. The implication is that it comes “right back at you” since what goes around comes around. Every time you lend a hand you get two back in return, yours and the grateful hand of the guy you have helped. It is a lifetime of hands that you can make use of at any time you need them. Accordingly more effort from others in helping to lift a load means that the stress of lifting is spread and the strain on one person reduced and balanced out.

Life is more meaningful to us all if we learn and become our brother’s keeper. When you lend a hand to someone in need you give out temporarily that which he needs to be who he should or to get to where he needs to get to. In return you get back not just your hand but the loving hand of gratitude from those that you have helped. There are so much ways by which we can lend a hand to the guy next door, find them and make good on them. You will find that your life becomes much more fun and meaningful. Be of help to those who are honestly in need of it, don’t wait for them to ask for it because they might not ask.

THE JOY OF GIVING

2:15am on a Saturday morning, I have just finished one of the best books ever! It’s a story about Christmas even though Christmas is almost a month ago! It’s the story of Scrooge, the grumpy old man who found no fun in life or in living. He was so cold that the heat of many fires could not warm him. But been visited by the ghosts of his dead business partner and that of three Christmas seasons; the past, the present and the future things changed.

It’s a great book to read and filled with so much but one great lesson stands out; the lesson that life is sweetest when you show love and compassion to the people around you. It also taught the lesson that we could change our future even if our past is already set in stone! Our future is an open book, one that we as the owners can write whichever way we want.

Life is such a precious gift that it is impossible to live it alone without sharing the joys with the people around you, those you know and those you don’t know. Giving back is the essence of life and giving back in the most helpful and loving way makes the essence of a greater importance than all the riches and wealth in the world.
Giving is not all money mind you, just a smile, a handshake, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a gift on an occasion or time spent with those who need it speaks so much more and has so much more lasting effect than money given without a kind word.

This is what Scrooge learnt in all the visits before the Christmas day and a lesson he took to heart never forgetting to be merry and happy. Every good seed we sow is a treasure in heaven. We build castles with each good deed and each smile we bring into people’s hearts. Each gift of giving no matter how small is another step to have a good eternity and a better tomorrow for ourselves. It gives you some peace and joy and helps to nourish our souls making it stronger to withstand pain and give more joy.

Scrooge learnt (as we all will if we take time to) that every unkindness is a chain that imprisons the soul of the unkind. When his business partner first appeared to him, he was a bitter unkind man who saw no good in man or the life he lived. He had lost so much as a result and would have continued to do so. But his friend appeared to him in chains of his own making, chains he had made stronger and tighter with his time in this world through his own deed. He had, like Scrooge, been unkind and unloving not giving of himself, his time, or resources it was a thing he regretted but could not change. However he was able to point this out to his friend who learning the errors of his ways changed for the better.

There is nothing as great or as wonderful as giving. It is the life source to the very existence of mankind. All great men where great not because they were rich or because they were wise but because in their strive to make life better for their fellow man they were able to create things that lasted over time long after they have gone, and we are alive today as witness to this.

Remember this words “give it will come back to you, good measures pressed down shaken together and running over, give it will come back to you. When you give, you give to the Lord!”

WHAT IS FRIENDHSIP??

Today is the 21st day of January, 2011 at 06:11 hours Nigerian time here I am sitting on a two-sitter couch in the living room of the two-bedroom flat I share with my siblings. My sister called me this morning at exactly 10:34:09am and told me my eldest brother said I was a thief and that she agreed completely. What did I steal? My own money! However I will not go into the gory details of what led to the name calling but I hung up the phone bitter and almost in tears, well I was in tears with my heart bleeding and nothing to stop it.

Why am I writing this and then putting it out here in cyberspace for the whole of the cyber world to read? Well honestly, I don’t know but after the call I spent hours in contemplation of the journey to where I am today and what I could hang on to. To my disappointment or should I say amazement, I realized that aside from the God who created me and whom I love, I had no one who really knew me or I could say is actually my shoulder to cry on.

Don’t get me wrong, I have friends and I am fortunate to have met people, I even have family members and a lovely parents. But in all of these people I could not think of one person I could call and pour out my heart to.
Realizing this I decided that I might as well be alone in the world or let’s put it this way, in spite of the fact that I love people and life it was obvious that when it really comes down to it “it’s just me” after all is said and done.

At this conclusion, I now wonder what really is friendship and who really is a friend? Is there a kind of grade for knowing who your friend is? If family can gang up against you to do you harm then won’t a “friend” do worse?
Do I continue to love people or do I just love myself alone? Where is that helping hand that should be there for me to make my burden lighter? Or did I miss something along the way about what and who a “friend” should be? I thought it is said “a tree does not make a forest”? or is it that all trees should be their own keeper? I ask all these questions because if I can’t point at one person and say this is the one person who knows me well, then what is the purpose of friendship?

Someone please help me!!
If you have answers to my question please I would like to hear them. God bless you as you read and lend a helping hand.

ONE STEP AT A TIME

There is one great beauty to life
The beauty of watching a baby learning to walk
They move through life taking it one step at a time
And the funny thing is that they enjoy each step
Have you ever thought of what it takes
To move one step at a time?
To simple enjoy life the way it comes without worries?
Have you thought of the beauty of taking your time
And not working at anyone else’s pace?

For the baby learning to walk and the parents
Each step is a delight
Each day is a challenge and a new experience
The joy and wonder in the eye of the baby
Is a wonderful picture to behold all on its own
It’s a gift to them to just be able to go through one step
It’s a wonder to everyone around to also see this great wonder
But what is most amazing is the fact that
When they fall they are ready to stand up again and again
They would only wail with the immediate pain
And once they are back on their feet
The pain of the fall is forgotten for the joy of another step

They toddle along in a near race walking at a pace that can’t be rushed
It is so unlike the steps we take as adults
We are so impatient to move along
We never take time to enjoy each step and to be grateful for it
We complain and blame our legs for not moving faster
We complain about our life for not moving at our own pace
We complain when people around us try to make us understand
We fail to see that the more we run the farther off the finish line is
We set a very far target for ourselves and complain if we don’t get their
But the baby?
All she wants to do is get to the television or her toy
She wants to able to welcome her mummy and dad
Once they get into the house
She wants to move just for the beauty and fun of life

But we adults we have so much plans
We have so many places we want to be all at once
That most times when we fall
Getting back on our feet takes much more time for us
And even in most cases we just sit on and let time pass by
We cry foul and blame everything but not ourselves
We set ourselves up to fall
But we fail to see it
Let’s remember to take life
ONE STEP AT A TIME
Enjoying each step as we take them
And celebrating each step as we make them
With this we will achieve more and get more out of life

LEAVING YOUR MARK ON THE SANDS OF TIME

We are born, we grow and then we die but in between all this stages in life we are all on this earth to leave our mark on the sands of time. How we do that however is left to each and every individual person. For some of us we try to be of positive impact to everyone we come across, for others we try as much as we can to please ourselves and are not worried about who we hurt along the way while we have some of us who are not really bothered about making an impact and so just go with the flow.

Irrespective of whatever way we try to live our lives, somewhere on this beautiful earth our failures and successes are recorded for posterity. It might not be one that is known to the whole world, we might not be as famous as Michael Jackson, Winston Churchill, Adolf Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, J. F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, Desmond Tutu, M. K. O. Abiola, I.B. Babangia, Aliko Dangote, Bill Gates, Thomas Edison or any of the other names that comes to mind. But we must remember that someone somewhere is watching us and learning something from us.

What they learn therefore is determined by us alone and maybe the person that is a student of life. It is imperative that whatever we do we must remember that we would leave a mark on the sands of time. Just like a fossilized print of the ancient and extinct plants and animals that makes it possible for us to understand the past of the earth and mankind, so also will our marks be studied for years to come in other for the generations coming behind us to have an understanding of our time.

Since we all know that time is the most precious gift of life and that time waits for no one in spite of everyone having the same 24hours we must therefore ensure that as time goes by our footsteps on the sands of time is not wiped away by the torrents of life or by the heavy storms we pass through in our own life. We know that with time the track grows cold if we do not leave a way for those coming behind us to be able to locate our route. So as we move along leave a beautiful marker for people to be able to find their way, this way they don’t get lost and they learn faster.

Our life is an open book irrespective of whether you are a celebrity or not, live it well! Our souls will give account one day, keep it well! Our minds are great networks of life and its intricacies, manage it properly! Our body is a vehicle for all this to thrive, treat it with all the care it deserves. But remember that whatever the marks we want to or try to leave on the sands of time, only us can determine or change it. So your life and destiny is yours to make good on! You are here on this wonderful earth already, MAKE IT COUNT FOR SOMETHING!!

ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING

Strange as it seems a lot of people live their lives on the outside looking in. it’s like standing at the window of life and watching others as they party and have a good time.
You are lonely and alone. The whole world is moving forward except you and yet you wonder “why not me?” The pain is masked, the fear has control and it is impossible to accept the invite to join the party. You are the family black sheep, the school geek, the community’s oddball, the office dumbass, the friend who everyone passes over, the unassuming one that is not expected to have an opinion. You wonder why this should be so and yet you do nothing to change the way things are.
To you that’s the way things are and that’s the way it should stay. Every once in a while you wish you could join the party but just as the thoughts come to you, you hear the words “you can never be like them”. Well that voice has spoken the truth and is right in saying you can never be like them. You know why? You are better than they are! You are unique and with all the potentials to be great. The only thing holding you back and is not allowing you to join the party is YOU. Yes you are so caught up in what others think and say that you fail to give YOU a chance to be you.
Therefore you find it easier not to find out if they are wrong. You are so worried that they could be right that proving them wrong does not even come to mind. You are so in the grip of the fear for the unknown that the simple act of living is a chore that you find very difficult.
This should not be the case love. Life is here just for you. You know how some birds learn how to fly? Their mama pushes them out of the nest! Yep, very drastic and risky. What if the bird can’t fly or the reflexes don’t kick in fast enough? Remember that the first thing about life is not living but survival and so the bird will not fail itself because it wants to survive. Living comes after survival is certain, that is the part when you begin to enjoy the party. You have to first make it to the party and enter in at the door.
The same goes for you. Take a chance, join the party and have a good time. That party will not be the same without you. What it needs to be the best party ever is your presence, your participation, your enjoyment and your joy of just been the life of the party. Always remember that no man is an island and its impossible to have a go at life alone. If that were the case I am sure God would have stopped human creation with just Adam. But then you would not be here now would you?
Stop looking in through the window, the door of life and all its enjoyment and pain is open to you. Enjoy the good, learn from the bad and reflect on the ugly. You never can say that ugly could just be the beast waiting for your kiss to turn into a handsome prince!!
Happy 2011!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT WILL NOT ARRIVE LATE

There is time for everything we hear
There is time for everything we know
We get a vision, we have a dream
We look for ways to make them a reality
Sometimes we are in too much haste
Sometimes we are not attentive enough
Even at times we are just indifferent
And in some instances fear holds us back
Just like we read of the story of the manna from heaven
No matter how much the size is
It will still be the same weight
So also no matter how hard we try to hasten it
That success we seek will arrive at the set time

Yep!
Their truly is an appointed time for everything
But what and when is that appointed time?
This becomes the question that we need answers to
How do we know that it has arrived and not a fluke?
Actually this is the easy part
When success comes it cannot be hidden or held down
Success speaks for itself and does not bring shame
It is not a thing to fear and is responsible
Success is not wealth or riches
These are just the elements that go with it
They are part of the rewards for success


Success does not arrive late
It comes gradually and is identified not by the beneficiary
At least not initially
But by the people around who can see the manifestation of it
It is an accomplishment that we get for working well and hard
Therefore if it is an accomplishment
Then it will arrive not late
But at a time when the seeds we have sown bring forth fruit
And you know that it is impossible to hide the fruits on a tree
Everyone that passes by will see it and admire it
They will want a bit too

Remember that success will come
Only if you have put something into getting it
It is impossible for something to come out of nothing
Therefore put in that effort that is needed
Do not relent
Don’t be shaken or blown out of course
For the success that we all seek
Will arrive just at the right time!