THE YEAR 2010: TAKING A LOOK BACK

“Defeat is a choice, so is victory; you can only be beaten when you decide that you can never win. As long as you have breath and life in you keep on fighting and you will come out on top! - Anonymous”

At the start of the year, I had so much expectations; some of which I achieved completely, some in parts and some not at all. But! There were also the unexpected that signified and brought to the fore the beauty and goodness of God and his enduring mercies. To a lot of us what I am about to do is “counting my blessing and reviewing my losses”.

“MY BLESSINGS”
1.It will be remise of me not to start with the greatest expectation of all i.e. been alive to see the end of 2010 and starting a new year. GLORY BE TO GOD WHO MADE THAT POSSIBLE!!
2.Good health, this year I have not been to the hospital for any kind of ailment but only to visit with my sister when she gave birth
3.I am still single but I am also happy in that God would do the best
4.My business is moving forward a step at a time
5. Made new friends, great friends so much so that if I start mentioning names I might have to write a book. I hope we enjoy many more years as friends!!
6. Got selected to participate in a Youth Entrepreneurship program bootcamp out of about 1,000 applicants. Made it to the top 30!!
7. Volunteered for a teaching project, PROJECT RAISE ONE MILLION. Taught English to WAEC students of a school in Lagos and got a certificate to show for it!!
8. My sister got married and in December gave birth
9. Was selected to be part of the SMEDAN training of trainers program organized for enterprise developers
10. Was and is part of a facilitating team teaching entrepreneurship to a group of young men
11. Attended a minimum of 10 seminars and conferences all of which have opened my mind to new and greater things
12. A year older and wiser
13. Helped a friend organize the flow of caterers on her wedding day
14. Was on radio; Unilag FM (stood in for a friend actually) to speak about “business planning”
15. Was featured in Vanguard newspaper in Patricia Omoqui’s column ALLURE
16. Started three (3) blogs and still run them
17. Volunteer for a leadership school, NGOs, and causes
18. Reconnected with old friends even some as far back as my primary school days
19. Visited another state in the federation
20. Started another income generating project a bit staggered but with good potentials
21. Discovered a new and vital service that Nigerians and Nigerian Businesses need to help them survive. All I need now is the right person that can run with it!!
22. Go to bed each night and wake up to a new and better day each day!

“MY LOSSES”
I would like to call this part moving experiences that tried my faith in God and myself and not losses.
1. Did not meet my expected number of clients for 2010 (and I know why)
2. Failed to make it to the top 20 list for the YEP trip to Miami
3. Ended the year with a broken relationship (his loss is someone else’s gain)
4. Made a bad investment decision and I have the scars and dents in my pocket to show for it!!
5. Discovered a new weakness in my business (although I am not sure if this is a weakness) which has resulted in slow growth of business
6. Was unfortunate to be introduced to 2 persons (make that three) who turned out to be untrustworthy. You know yourselves!! You cost me money and a lot of trouble
7. Worked on a proposal for a LGA project but due to bureaucracy and the choppers syndrome it did not fly
8. Was broke for a third of the year, I wonder why!!

Whichever way I look at it, I find that “MY BLESSINGS” far outweighs “MY LOSSES” for this I give all glory to God who has made me see this. But most importantly I thank God for my losses and those events that I have not listed (so many of them) for without them I can never be a better person come 2011!

“Don’t look down while passing through life for your vision and faith is not linked to the ground. Look up and ahead because your vision is from God (who is up above and inside of you) and the sky is just the beginning”

THE SHIP CALLED 2010

I sailed on a ship called 2010 and along the way we went through a lot. I was not alone in that ship, there was a captain who made sure we got to the end of the journey safely and in one piece and there were also other passengers and crew members who were there to ensure that I was not alone. All these people together made life in 2010 memorable for me and ensured that it is a year to remember.

Even during the darkest storm and the best of weather they were there for me, we waded through it all together in the love and confidence that we had in a God who did not fail as a captain of the ship.

On this ship 2010, I had you to show me that I was not alone, to help guide me and set my foot on solid ground, when the times were at its worst you were there to make it better. Through your friendship it was possible for me to persevere and make it to the end because with you I had no reason to lose hope.

I am talking about you my great and wonderful friends that have encouraged me all the way, you have referred clients to my business, opened doors of opportunities my way, made an effort to comfort me while I was down and under, and encouraged my faith in my God.

For this I say that as we alight from 2010 today to board the next ship called year 2011 may we grow from strength to strength. In this New Year we shall not fail nor falter, we shall continue in love and grace and may the abundant mercies of our Lord be upon us to see us through to the end of this journey call year 2011 and many more voyages. I pray that this voyage shall not be our last but a beginning of so much more to come.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Practical Daydreaming

Have you ever come across Dimitry Didorenko or Esref Armagan? They are both blind while one lost his sight during a digging operation in the forests of Ukraine, where they tried to find remains of Russian soldiers who were considered to be missing since the World War 2; the other was born blind and could never see as you and I do.

What stands these two men out however is that they are ARTISTS. Not musicians or anything that has to do with media, I mean painters. They draw and paint! Esref’s case is so overwhelming because he has never seen colours and does not know what red looks like neither can he differentiate blue from green nor can he tell you what a dog or a flower should look like. He was born blind and yet he paints!


Theirs is a case of daydreaming and seeing colours. Even though they might not be able to tell you what the colour of your dress is they can paint in colours, they have dreamt about colours and have brought it to life.

Once upon a time man used horse-drawn carriages to move from one place to another and dreamt of what it would be like to fly. He looked at the bird in the sky and the fish in the water and imagined having a machine that could do what they do.

Henry Ford, The Wright brothers, George Stephenson, Ernst Alexanderson, Thomas Edison and a lot of others all had daydreams like this too. They believed it was possible and knew that it would not be easy.

Edison’s dream for electricity is simply put in his words as "We will make electricity so cheap that only the rich will burn candles."

They brought to life what was their musing and fantasy. What they hoped and believed could be possible and of use to the people in their environment; making their life better and making output more rewarding. From this daydreams inventions that we still make use of today became a reality; cars, airplanes, trains, radio and television, electricity, electric bulb; even years after they have gone.

This is practical daydreaming!!

Every business starts with a daydream, a fantasy of sort, wishful thinking of creating and developing a product or service to meet a particular need that they perceive in their mind could be of use to the people in their community. An entrepreneur makes a conversion from fantasy to reality by starting the business. His dream becomes a vision – a dream with a deadline - and achievable goals are set.

In 1891, Henry Ford became an engineer with the Edison Illuminating Company; a company owned by Thomas Edison. It was while working here after his promotion that he started working on his daydreams and he created his first automobile in 1896. His daydream was not money or how to be rich, no! His daydream was how to make an automobile that would move on its own using a steam engine and one that would be affordable for all. He started the Ford Motor Company!

Meeting a need and doing it well brings the money, fame and recognition!!

In the 1800s working in the coal mines was almost always a death trap but it was the most common work then because of the unlimited need for coal in heating homes and a lot of other needs. The miners usually ended up going blind after been in the mine for too long because light in the mine caused explosions. George Stephenson an uneducated engineer invented a gas lamp that enabled the miners to mine without fear of explosion.

He saw a need, dreamt what could be used to meet the need and worked at it!

His most outstanding work however was the trains he created. The possibility of hauling heavy coal from one point to another on rail became his focus. He daydreamed of a contraption that could haul coal from the mines to designated spots. He saw the need for more efficient work, instead of using the horse drawn carts that was time consuming, a steam rail that initially used wooden rails and later iron rails was developed by a miner who wanted more efficiency in his and his community’s work. He knew this would also result in survival of lives, increased output and more money for the people.

His was a daydream that was practical!

Every success story in life comes from one man’s daydream and belief that it can be done.

Just like Esref and Dimitry, who although blind still created beauty that even those who can see admire and spend money on. Every business man can still create products and services from circumstances in which he finds himself.

All that is needed is that we be practical in our daydreaming and bring our fantasies to life. Any daydream that is solely based on money or financial reward is not practical but if it is a dream that puts others first and seeks a way to make life better then let it loose and the money will come.

Happy practical daydreaming!!

SMALL BUSINESSES IN NIGERIA: WHY THEY REMAIN AS SMALL BUSINESSES

Some weeks ago at the office, I called on a lady hawking food. My colleague and I had made up our mind to buy the food because we were very hungry; we had the belief that the food might not be that good but we were in need of something to eat as it was a Saturday and none of the canteens in the area were open as that area was a business community with offices as the main occupants of buildings in that location.

To our surprise the food was properly cooked and tasted nice; more pleasing was that the lady had good customer service and she was very pleasant. However, there and then she asked if we were employing and if she could bring her resume for future vacancy. When asked why she wanted a job, her response was that what she did was temporary and “a means to an end”. Something she did just to keep body and soul together until she could get a job. I was worried!!

Who you decide you are can determine who you will become!

Most Nigerian youths leave school with a certificate that cannot be used to get employment. They spend years going from one company to another in search of a job. Some go as far as looking for just anything to make ends meet. For those who have work, they are underpaid and overworked but cannot leave the unsatisfying employment because they are worried (with good reason) that they might not find another one. The banks that were the major employers for many years have now cut back on staff and salary.

Unemployment has pushed a lot into starting a micro or small business “just to make ends meet” while they still have the hope of getting a paid employment.

The incident above is true of a large percentage of Nigerian small and micro businesses. We are not into it because it is what we love to do and because we want to meet a need and make use of opportunities that we see available open to us. We start businesses because we feel we have no choice because we need money and cannot get paid employment. The thing about money is that it would take a lot from you before it gives to you, or it would not even bother to come pay you a visit.

Remember life is give and take it is what you give to the environment, nature or your fellow man that comes back to you as a harvest.

Since the business owner is in it because of the money he thinks he can get from it or because he is tired of always been hungry and not because he wants to meet a need and that he loves what he does; he fails to start right. He does not do a proper analysis of the business before he starts, not taking time to find out if the business will be feasible and make good profit enough to run itself with time and meet his ever growing needs.

He starts and he is faced with a lot of questions and challenges most of which could have been avoided.

That is why I like the typical Ibo Business Man, he would apprentice with his ”Oga” to learn the rudiments of the trade or business for years before starting his own. He knows how many cups can be found in a bag of rice, beans, garri. He knows how much he needs to start and how much he can make on particular quantity of a particular product, he know where to situate his shop and how to start and maintain a saving culture so much so that before you know it he has expanded his business and has his own fleet of apprentices or “boys”.
People call this Ibo Business Men traders but the thing is that have taken time to get to know the industry and the market in which they intend to do business. Many years ago Inter-State transport was not an organized business, but involved individual persons been in charge of just one vehicle or hiring it out for transport. But the same Ibo Business Man saw a need and opportunity and today we have the likes of Associated Bus Company (ABC), Chisco, Ifesinachi, Young Shall Grow, just to mention a few. These same transport businesses branched into haulage and courier services and are now in the international road transport to other West African Countries.

But the same Ibo Business Man saw a need and opportunity.

The thing about a business is that just like every other creation it would develop a life of its own with time and maturity and would want to be free. It is at this stage of freedom that the entrepreneur has to use the creativity arising from his love for what he does to direct it on the right part and develop strategies that would ensure sustainability. If this freedom is not given to the business, it would suffocate and die or be eternally challenged and continue to have a stunted growth.
Nigerian micro and small business owners go through unwanted challenges such as:
1. Under-pricing or over-pricing of products and services
2. Been unable to differentiate the thin line between what belongs to the business and what is personal in the sales and income generated by the business
3. Financial drought due to lack of having a saving culture. Every business owner should be able to set aside a percentage of their gross profit for the lean times
4. The most annoying is that they don’t have an accounting system. They can’t track how much money comes into or goes out of the business
5. Most don’t even have a bank account and so all the transaction are cashed based so that when the thief comes to steal they do not have a fall back savings to continue their business

With these, the micro or small businesses will always continue to be just that – small or micro and nothing more.

It is important that business owners or individuals who want to start their own businesses take time out to actually have an understanding of the business before they start. Let’s learn from the Ibo Business Man’s way of doing business. Get to know about the business, the industry and the market. Let’s learn how much profit we can make and where our customers are. Let us make use of what has stood the in good stead and has ensured that they continue to grow in every business and to expand.
This is the only way that Nigerian micro businesses can become small businesses and continue to grow; it is also through this way that our small businesses can grow to become conglomerates. Remember ABC Transport started small and has now grown into an international business same goes for all those Alaba boys (funny as that may seem).

FULFILLING A GOAL

When I was very young, well not that young! I had a dream of writing for a living.

A goal is a dream with a deadline. Zig Zaglar

My parents value education and so my dad would buy us books to read every week. I loved reading and I summarized all the books I read, I am sure my literature Teacher must have wondered why I kept bringing summaries to her for review.

Anyway by 1990-91 I had started writing just because I wanted to and I started with poetry, some of which I have posted on my blog or as facebook note. Then I started writing short stories (of the likes I read), then to articles (some for the school press club) and others for fun. I still have some old articles too. With time I migrated into serious writing- business ideas (all of which I still have and is still relevant) drafting storyline for plays/movies and actually completing two whole movie script. I even had a journal for some years, I call them the most trying times of my life.

Thank God I still have most of my writings!!

At this time it was still a dream I was working on. So I went to the university and majored in zoology. I was an average student because I spent more time working on my writing skills (and improving it), reading and working than I did on studies. After university I was afloat, with no work experience in my field of study and no willingness to get any it was a matter of “what do I do for a living and where do I fit in?”

All my dreams centered around writing for a living so I set a goal. Get work that allows you to do just that.

Why? I know that even if it is just one person that read what I have written, that someone would take away something from reading what I have written and that way I would have been able to touch one life. For me touching just one life is a blessing!
So I took a job as a writer/editor of an export newsletter (lousy pay but great experience) and boy did I love the work!

"We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are." Max De Pree

Then my dreams came back to me (in full force) and I knew it was time for it to come to life. But I also knew I needed some additional skills, so I took some short courses and went for seminars and workshop. AND I KEPT READINGALL THE TIME! I spent hours and days reading and researching.

What goals do you want to meet or what dreams do you want to fulfill? What are the dreams that you have had and put in the cooler for years? Search them out and give them life!

Today I write for a living, not only that, people actually read what I write and I get feedback which I make use of to improve myself and my writing. I write for businesses mostly but I also find time to continue writing for fun and I enjoy doing both.

My best time for writing is the dead of night when everyone is asleep and minding their business of the day. Just like I am writing this at 3.30am on a Monday morning.
I had a dream while I was young; I set a goal of writing for a living after school and another for having my own business before 2010. I am here to stay and it can only get better.

……………….AND THEY FLEW!!!

“Come to the edge, he said. They said, we are afraid. Come to the edge, he said. They came. He pushed them………………and they flew” Guillaume Appillonaire.


It’s 2.24am on a cold Monday morning, I am awake on my bed, reading and planning for the week’s activities and taking some time to work. As I read, I come across the quote above and so my pen began to move!!

The first time I read that quote I laughed, and then I blinked and came back to it. I had to read it again and again. In that one quote so much comes to mind about the journey of man through life and how we out of fear limit ourselves and do not reach our potentials.

The edge here is a point where two things or stages in life meet. Our past and our future or maybe it’s our limitations and our success. Whichever two stage it is; it requires a bold step, eyes wide open, determination to survive, and a mind to rise above fear. This will enable you to move from one stage to the other.

Who was speaking and to whom? We do not know and I don’t think we need an answer to that.

Reading that quote what comes to your own mind?

The first response to the beckoning was fear, the fear of taking a risk and a reluctance to leave the comfort zone in which we find ourselves. Basically, I think the willingness to even “come” must be commended but flying?! THAT IS GREAT! I bet they did not have an inkling that they could fly and if they did they did not know how.

My guess is the guy who asked them to come to the edge saw the potential and that the only thing keeping them from reaching it was “them”. They had the talent, skills, knowledge and all that was needed to reach that potential. All they needed to do was to take that bold step of faith and LET GO!! Scary thought ehn?!

Anyway, they did take the step and in their determination to survive, they flew. I can honestly tell you that when they were pushed, they panicked and kept falling. When they saw the ground coming at them, the reflex reaction for survival kicked in.
Their wings developed a wing of its own and it connected to their brain and every part of their body. THEY FLEW!! Why? Because they wanted to live! They loved life more than their fears and unconsciously let go of fear for life.

A lot of us are limited by ourselves and nothing more. Most of us need to come to edge and be pushed. Well a percentage of those who want to only by ourselves c we will find a way to survive. We will realize we have wings and remember HOW to use them.

We will discover that only by ourselves can we move from mediocrity to relevance, from poverty to wealth, from developing to developed and from past to future. Where ever or at whatever stage in our lives or businesses we are now, we must heed the beckoning to come to the edge and be prepared to fly when we are pushed.

DO NOT PANICK, IT WOULD MAKE YOUR FALL GO FASTER!!

Clear your head, take action and the rest will be as they say, “HISTORY”

WHAT IS A CHURCH??

It pains me most times when some people discriminate about churches or when they ask “which church do you attend?” and when you tell them they look at you like “you sure you serving God?”


For so many a church is just a house and so its easy to discriminate when I tell you I live in a face-me-i-slap-you kind of house, or maybe I say I live under the bridge. It might be impossible for you to come visit me there. However from my little understanding I believe a church is a place where you go to worship God.

Don’t get me wrong the word tells us we are the TEMPLE of God. I meant a CHURCH is a place of dwelling that we go to visit God. You been God’s temple means you have him with you all the time, that’s how it should be with someone that you love truly and sincerely. If you love a person irrespective of distance he would always be with you.
But a church? No that is a dwelling, the dwelling of that person you love. If you love God then you would not mind what the building looks like, what the name of the building or the street is, or what the other visitors or guests where to come see that same God, YOUR FRIEND!

According to the upbringing that I had, I was made to believe that when you go to church you have not gone to see someone or person, you have gone to see God. I go to church to visit with God, for me he is a friend, father, mother, husband, in-law and much more. Remember that when you go to visit a person you are not bothered about his or her house, the distance or what it looks like, you are more concerned about the person.

In church I dance like my friends would do in a club with abandon (just like David did) because a lot of times I feel a release of joy in my dance and I see God smile at me when I dance.

CHURCH IS WHERE YOU WORSHIP!!!

But I don’t just dance, for each visit God asks me what I want to be entertained with; like a friend would do for you when you pay him a visit. He asks what you would like to drink or eat. Same way God asks me what I would eat and drink and I reply by making my request then comes the time spent talking and listening. I talk to him and he listens then he talks. It’s a wonderful relationship for me going to church.

THAT IS GOING TO CHURCH!!

So I ask you today WHAT IS A CHURCH?? When you say “I AM GOING TO CHURCH” what exactly do you mean? Or what deductions do you want people to make from your statement? How is it that for many going to church has become a thing of criticism and a place to be discriminated? Why are you bothered about the name of the place I visit or what the house of my friend looks like? Why does it concern you the kind of cloths I were to visit my friend? Or the gifts I take to him?

WHY DO YOU GO TO CHURCH? AND WHEN YOU DO WHAT WHO DO YOU GO TO SEE?

It’s simple! I should be able to enter any house where I find my friend residing.

Because even a church is not God’s home. His home is more fantastic than what we can imagine so why bother with the house he resides to meet with us? He has given us this great opportunity to have a place where we can come visit him whenever we like or want to. But instead we look at the trappings and location, SUCH A PITY!

Because I love God I am not bothered with the name of the house, the colour, the structure, the butler or major domo, even the other workers in that house. All I know is I have gone to visit God in his house and I will enjoy my visit. For me it’s a party, yes! Let’s see church like a never ending party for God’s children. You know what you do at parties? You enjoy yourselves and you also remember to take a gift for the celebrant. AFTERALL WE ARE CELEBRATING JESUS!! At parties you dance, you get to know the others at the party, congratulate the celebrant and wish him well and be entertained.

THAT FOR ME IS A CHURCH!!
ENJOY YOUR CHURCH AND I WILL ENJOY MINE!!

OUR DESTINY, YOUR DESTINY, MY DESTINY

Destiny?! A great word with the simplest of meaning, the meaning is so near you that we tend to fail to see it.

Destiny is like cake in the oven, beautiful and delicious, filling and satisfying. However, without the right heat the cake would not turn out as we expect. So is our destiny!

Destiny is like a well-laid out business plan, one that investors read and get moved to risk their money. However, without the right mindset, skills and motivation/innovation to implement and make it a success, the business plan is a waste of effort.

Destiny is like beautiful lyric to a song; it makes good sense and touches the soul. But without the voice and personality to carry it the beauty of the song is lost and has no value.

Destiny is like a well-written constitution that covers all the areas of importance to a nation and takes it people and their will into consideration for which it is written. But when the people have refused to read and understand it, or have no respect for it then it is of no value.

Destiny is a properly drawn out plan of a house, drawn with specification for a structural masterpiece. However, without workers and builders to translate the drawn out plan into a dream house, the house cannot turn out as it is on the plan or as the architect had drawn it.

Or maybe it’s like a building in which the contractor has decided to cut corners? The house would invariably crumble and maybe kill or injure people living in it.

Destiny is like a bundle of cloth that has been laid aside for a Princes, she decides the design and style that the cloth should be cut into. This she wears and must be proud of. THE CLOTH IS HER’S.

Destiny is like a beautiful clock bought and set in a place of prominence to mark time and sound the alarm but the owner forgot to set it to the right time. The clock would mark the time wrongly and wake its owner up at the wrong time.

Destiny is like a road to a magnificent house that has been left to crumble and overgrown by the owners, it becomes difficult every time they embark on a trip out and back to their magnificent home.

Destiny is like the ugly duckling, an eagle living with ducks. His life would be limited by the surrounding and environment he finds himself and it won’t be able to fly until it is among its own.

Destiny is like a talent that each and every one has, a talent like the proverbial guy in the bible who took his talent of gold and hid it in the ground, it would not multiply and yield fruit.

Destiny is like a beautiful lady who decides to not take care of herself because people have said she is beautiful believing that without care her beauty would continue to remain, and then wakes up one day to look in the mirror to see a fat and ugly woman instead of the beauty.

Therefore let us all remember that even though we have all come to this world with our own destinies, destiny is what we make of it. We have a choice to make good of it or make it bad. The life of man is like an open book and we have been given the pen to write the story of our lives. What you write in that book is dependent on you alone and no one else. NOT EVEN GOD CAN HELP YOU WRITE YOUR OWN STORY. Remember it is your destiny, your life and your story to tell.

Make your destiny your own today and take the choices that would take you on a journey of fun, success and the envy of everyone around you!

HIT THE GROUND RUNNING

I remember a story I heard a long time ago of a guy who was able to “hit the ground running”. He was not held down by his challenges but kept finding new ways and opportunities to make life better. Actually, it might be a dream but then……………………..

Their once was a man whose wife went into labour and gave birth to a healthy baby boy, however, before the mother could get to know her child she died living her husband with a new baby with nothing to feed the child with. All the man had back home was a pregnant goat and the vegetable farm he had inherited from his father. His immediate challenge was how to feed the baby and how to move on.
He took his Son home and checked on the goat, it had given birth to two kids, seeing the kids feed an idea came to his mind, “the goat can feed my baby” and feed the baby it did.

HE HAD HIT THE GROUND RUNNING!!

It is said that this man eventually became one of the richest men in his own time. (Don’t ask me where I heard the story from). Why? He discovered that milk from animals is also good for babies and turned it into an opportunity to make baby food. He solved his own problems and that of a lot of motherless babies.

It is typical for us to wake up tumbling out of the bed or like a song said, “To wake up with the world on top of you”. But when you do tumble out of your bed and land on the floor, do you remain on the floor? Most would remain dazed for a longer period than is necessary, some would nurse the pain of the fall the whole day, some would simply go back to bed while some would see it as an opportunity to start the day wide eyed and ready to go.

Pain would remain if we continue to dwell on it and give it room to fester. The man could simply have blamed the fate that took his wife from him and his new baby, he could have looked at the child and blamed him for his problems, or he could have looked at the goat and its kids and seen additional problems.

“BUT INSTEAD OF DWELLING ON HIS PAIN AND SEEING ALL THE BAD SITUATIONS THAT HAD COME HIS WAY, HE SAW OPPORTUNITIES AND MADE GOOD USE OF THEM” THIS IS HITTING THE GROUND RUNNING!!

How do you hit your own ground? Do you hit the ground and just stay there not knowing what to do next? Or do you apply speed and keep moving in spite of all? Opportunities abound everywhere but most importantly opportunities are most seen in our most trying times.

LOOK, SEE THEM AND MAKE GOOD USE OF THEM!!

OUR DESTINY, YOUR DESTINY, MY DESTINY

Destiny?! A great word with the simplest of meaning, the meaning is so near you that we tend to fail to see it.

Destiny is like cake in the oven, beautiful and delicious, filling and satisfying. However, without the right heat the cake would not turn out as we expect. So is our destiny!

Destiny is like a well-laid out business plan, one that investors read and get moved to risk their money. However, without the right mindset, skills and motivation/innovation to implement and make it a success, the business plan is a waste of effort.

Destiny is like beautiful lyric to a song, it makes good sense and touches the soul. But without the voice and personality to carry it the beauty of the song is lost and has no value.

Destiny is like a well-written constitution that covers all the areas of importance to a nation and takes it people and their will into consideration for which it is written. But when the people have refused to read and understand it, or have no respect for it then it is of no value.

Destiny is a properly drawn out plan of a house, drawn with specification for a structural masterpiece. However, without workers and builders to translate the drawn out plan into a dream house, the house cannot turn out as it is on the plan or as the architect had drawn it.

Or maybe it’s like a building in which the contractor has decided to cut corners? The house would invariably crumble and maybe kill or injure people living in it.

Destiny is like a bundle of cloth that has been laid aside for a Princes, she decides the design and style that the cloth should be cut into. This she wears and must be proud of. THE CLOTH IS HER’S.

Destiny is like a beautiful clock bought and set in a place of prominence to mark time and sound the alarm but the owner forgot to set it to the right time. The clock would mark the time wrongly and wake its owner up at the wrong time.

Destiny is like a road to a magnificent house that has been left to crumble and overgrown by the owners, it becomes difficult every time they embark on a trip out and back to their magnificent home.

Destiny is like the ugly duckling, an eagle living with ducks. His life would be limited by the surrounding and environment he finds himself and it won’t be able to fly until it is among its own.

Destiny is like a talent that each and every one has, a talent like the proverbial guy in the bible who took his talent of gold and hid it in the ground, it would not multiply and yield fruit.

Destiny is like a beautiful lady who decides to not take care of herself because people have said she is beautiful believing that without care her beauty would continue to remain, and then wakes up one day to look in the mirror to see a fat and ugly woman instead of the beauty.

Therefore let us all remember that even though we have all come to this world with our own destinies, destiny is what we make of it. We have a choice to make good of it or make it bad. The life of man is like an open book and we have been given the pen to write the story of our lives. What you write in that book is dependent on you alone and no one else. NOT EVEN GOD CAN HELP YOU WRITE YOUR OWN STORY. Remember it is your destiny, your life and your story to tell.

Make your destiny your own today and take the choices that would take you on a journey of fun, success and the envy of everyone around you!

RENE AND MAGELI

Women of magnitude/ two of a kind but poles apart
Weaving-in out of life /Webs and intimate intricacies
That makes existence an ultimate challenge
Though they started young /Weaving mirrored glasses
That magnifies things in rainbows
And bestows the ideal of everlasting summer
On their believes and outlooks
They came out of a world in which they were born
To find themselves and conquer the world
Not knowing that without removing
From their faces the mirrored glasses
The world would continue to deal them a terrible blow
And after two terrible bangs on the frame
It breaks and falls off /the great trumpet is blown
The mighty wall of Jericho is fallen
As in the bible no one would be able to build this wall
And so the new ideals start /from the debris and rumbles
Come a rambling magnificence /A fortress that cannot be equaled
This is the result of gradual work /Painstaking decisions
Sacrifices made for essence of survival
And since life must go on /they do nothing but go on living
In a life in which they refuse to be
Nothing but the actors, directors/ producers
Refusing to be spectators /or viewers on the outside looking in
At an early age they learn /that life, truly, is not a bed of roses
Lavishly they court the true essence of living
Fighting and winning a war never started /Always on top of whatever it is That life decides to dish out to them /and as we look on and marvel
At the goodness and beauty of it all /we fail to realize that sacrifices have
Been made in lieu of happiness /in their race they have been able
To do what most would not do /they have made a name for themselves
Overcome all odds and become over comers
We need not contemplate /Lives of two never known to the other
But fighting hard without relenting
Retreating and coming back to win /Never vanquished
They stand out among all /and forever will remain a legend
To be admired from race to race
And generation to generation /they stand out among many
And never cease to amaze
Neither is there a chance /of them not been able
To surmount all obstacles

THE BEAUTY OF OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM!

June 30, 2010 I was at a program and at the end we had to sing the second stanza of the national anthem. Some days before at another function we sang both stanzas and when while I was proud that I could actually recite the lines with faltering and feeling the anthem I realized that most of us can't even remember the lines of the national anthem of our country.

If that be the case then what is it that we are fighting for? Why is that we are clamoring for a better place when we don't even know what our anthem says about a better place? How will we be able to serve with heart and might? How can we build one nation that is founded in freedom, peace and unity?

I was so happy that I could remember all the lines and that in my own way was actually working out the words of the anthem that I joyously laughed and said (loudly) to myself "I remember!" Some people took at me like "and so what?" For me it was a big deal.

How many of us have the ability to arise? or are we still sitting down waiting for miracles that won't come? Are we compatriots or just citizens? Do we even hear Nigeria's call much less obey it? How many of us actually serve our father's land? I aint talking about lip service we pay online towards service or that criticism against the people in power. I am talking of actually rising up to serve and do it with love, strength and faith. A lot of Nigerians don't even believe that Nigeria will be better, they don't have faith in their own individual strength and we no longer love our neighbours.

Now I see that the labours of our fore fathers, heroes that have gone by (no matter how bad we think they did it, they fought for independence) is now in vain. Some days ago someone was saying it would have been better if we were still a colony. Imagine!!

No one have a good vision, we are not collectively reaching for greater heights and with the corruption and the constant fight for who gets what we can't even see the lofty heights we must attain therefore we have remained a country. Instead of us building a nation were peace and justice reigns we have continually worked towards chaos and injustice. A country were the judge can be bought and justice can be perverted because of power and position.

Even though Nigeria has more churches than a lot of countries or nations combined, we have removed God from nation building. However the start of the second stanza asks God for direction. How many of us are noble? How many of us have noble causes? We don't pray for our leaders because we don't give God his place in nationhood. Most of our youths don't know the truth about what is happening; only what they hear on the news or read in the papers (if they read) and that is what they rely on. Without truth it is impossible to see the light.

It is important that we go back and memorize the words of our national anthem and live by it. If we can do this then Nigeria would be better.

Power of the people

Today I saw first hand how Nigerians can as a force collectively work together to achieve a positive growth!!

I had planned my day but somehow I had to add to the plan so I could make time to meet another responsibility. Like most changes, it required additional resources even though I had looked at what I had and assumed that it would be okay.

After leaving the last place of appointment (the added appointment), I got to the bus-stop to realize that the Transporters had tripled the fare. It was crazy!! It is not new that their was a crowd at the bus-stop no. What I found fascinating was that this people actually refused to pay above the normal rate. Even though some would come and board at the inflated rate, the others refused.

Out of nowhere came this Patriotic Nigerian dressed in suit and looking quite elegant, he insisted that no one should board any of the vehicles. The park touts took it up with him and suddenly the others on the outside looking in joined and it was the passengers against the bus drivers and touts. It was a sight to behold. No fighting just an insistence that the fair should be brought down.

I had to leave the bus-stop for a while cos I had to go meet someone but when I got back MAGIC!! The fare was back to the normal price and their was no longer a crowd at the bus-stop. I was proud to be a Nigerian. Like my people would say, "e sweet my belle say dis kain tin fit happen"

Reflecting on this I realized that collectively we can have the change we want if we want it enough. Today this people realized that it is their right to dictate the price and that they could if they worked together. One person stood up to lead a group of people with a common goal and the others followed in his quest.

If we can come together and find that common goal, work together to see it happen then we would be better off for it. All that is needed is for us to realize that the destiny of the country is in our hands and not those in power!

God bless Nigeria!
God bless Nigerians!!

A BOWL OF PORRIDGE!!

The reason why God is always against gluttony is the fact that too much of anything results in upset, or in other words the inability to be able to withstand pain in other to get our deserved blessings would result in a "BOWL OF PORRIDGE EFFECT"

As I sit down on my bed and think on the wonders of God and why it is important to him that some were born first before the other and they can lead while another set who were born after end up taking the mantle of leadership, my mind goes back to a portion of the holy book (my manual for existence) and I remember two brothers, two nations, two people and "A BOWL OF PORRIDGE".

Some were born to lead (not because of what their parents have) but because they were born before other, some were born to lead just because it is hereditary, some learnt it along the way, some have been moved to lead (because of the society or circumstances around them, or maybe they desired a change) while some have had leadership forced down their throat.

Sorry I digress from the main gist.

It is an open fact that most of us went to the farm and came back home "HUNGRY", we found our brother making porridge and in a bid to satisfy our hunger sold our birthright for "A BOWL OF PORRIDGE". A lot of Nigerians grew up hungry but unlike the story in the bible most of us do not have an inkling for what we hunger.

WE JUST NEED SOMETHING TO FILL OUR STOMACH NOT CARING WHAT IT IS AND WHERE IT IS COMING FROM!!

So some of us have eaten porridge that has kept up going to the loo times without number with no relief in sight!

Leadership is a heavy burden that requires that you must sometimes go hungry and in some instances be able to overlook your brothers "BOWL OF PORRIDGE" and focus on making your own part in life.

Let us remember that getting that "PORRIDGE" means that you have to let go of your birthright and your blessings, things that are naturally yours from inception and from the beginning of creation.

It means that a people that initially came to get from you would be the ones that you would go begging to get from them?

A man was hungry and sold his birthright to lead for "A BOWL OF PORRIDGE" and he later regretted it.

What is your bowl of porridge? What is that thing that would take from you that which will make you who you are and you are meant to be? Search well and ensure that you know, if you are on the verge of selling retract and do not do so!

It is this same hunger that has made it impossible for us to move forward and this that has ensured that we do not, after 50 year of independence, have the right kind of leader we need. Some have decided to sit down and ensure that “THE BOWL OF PORRIDGE” does not get to the next guy. They don’t want it but would also ensure that the guy who not only wants it but can also wash the bowl and make it presentable that he who sees the bowl and its content would envy him and want to partake in the feast, does not get to have it.

It is high time that we refuse to be fed from that “BOWL OF PORRIDGE” that keeps taking from us and not give back. We must learn how to say no and move forward. We have gone hunting and we have the meat at hand, why must we be in haste when we have the food? Why is it that we cannot make the meal even when all needed to do so is right there with us?

LEARN FROM THE MAN FOR A FLEETING PLEASURE AND SATISFACTION OF JUST A FEW MINUTES LOST A LIFETIME OF GLORY!! THE BOWL OF PORRIDGE WOULD NOT LAST A LIFE TIME BUT THAT WHICH YOU HAVE AT HAND CAN GO A LONG WAY! USE IT!!

The Shephard Leader

Show me a Nigerian leader and I would show you a wolf stealing sheep from its owner.

Show me a Nigerian Leader and I will show you a fearful man, one so afraid of mediocrity that he holds money by the throat just to have relevance.

Show me a Nigerian Leader and I would show you a man that is drunk with power and has lost consciousness of moral, social, godly values.

Show me a true leader and I would show you a Shepherd that knows his sheep and who's sheep know him.

The picture image for the note shows a Shepherd carry a sheep and protecting it. That is an example of a true leader.

A Shepherd will stay out in bad whether just to ensure that the sheep in his care are safe and protected.

A Shepherd will go hungry and starve, he will travel a long distance, be a doctor just for the safety of its sheep.

A Shepherd will stake its life for that of its sheep, fighting the wolves and the lions just so they don't get to the sheep.

A Shepherd lives by the code of conduct that my sheep first before every other thing, and so the sheep comes first.

A Shepherd lives his life based on principles and morals that ensures that those under his care are safe and want for nothing as long as he can provide it.

He ensures they have food to eat water to drink a good place to lay their head, a shade from bad whether and protection from danger (both internal and external).

This is what makes a true Leader!

This is the kind of Leader we need.

Someone that will not think of himself but of those he is leading.

A person that would put the welfare of his people ahead of his own.

A man or woman guided by moral principles that are of positive impact to the society, economy, persons, and nation.

A man that is not ruled by the fear of not having money,someone that is confident in who he is that that money is never a basis for judging personal worth.

The leader we need? One ruled by values and principles that shines a guiding light.

A Shepherd is never perfect but one simple thing about a him is that he would never put himself above the sheep because to him, THE SHEEP COMES FIRST!

IT IS YOU THAT MATTERS

It is important to note this one important thing, “without you there will never be a problem, when you are gone problems peculiar to you will cease to exist”

It seems to me that all that really matters is YOU and not what happens around you. Again, I would say the choice is yours. I think I can hear you say, what? You mean with all I am going through, it boils down to me? Are you saying all that matters is me? Thanks for helping me out, you got it, that’s all I mean to say.

You are the only thing that matters in the event of thing and circumstances that takes place in your life. Remember that whatever the situation you pass through or encounter, good or bad, it is yours because it is taking place in your life at that particular point in time, it therefore peculiar to you and you alone. Every problem that occurs in your life does not have a hold on you and waiting for you to devise a solution to it, it takes you alone to understand the peculiarity of the situation and to also dissolve the puzzle. Since we both know that “life is full of puzzles” the solution to them is you, plain and simple and no one can handle it for you. They only be your think bank and proffer suggestions but they would not be able to handle it or provide solutions to the puzzle.

It is important to note this one important thing, “without you there will never be a problem, when you are gone problems peculiar to you will cease to exist” Remember the Garden of Eden? The serpent did not come to tempt until man was created, the problem of sin was peculiar to Adam at the time, so also are your own problems. Without you your problems cannot exist (they become a failed enterprise) because they can’t leave in a vacuum independent of you. It’s a great thing for you to know this because this gives you the power you need over those problems, the knowledge that you own them and can deal with them as you alone deem fit for them. I think this is why God gave us dominion, because he understood and knew that we own the problems and have control over them. We already had it in us but he had to declare it so that we would remember it and make good use of it. We were meant to rule over everything and that includes our problems because for every one of them we were born with a solution to them, otherwise they would not come looking for us. This is also why God says he would not test us with what we can’t bear.

If your problems have the ability to thrive on its own then you are not needed, i.e. it does not need you, but then let the problem try to exist independent of its owner and it would cease to exist. Therefore know this your problems are of no value and lacks existence without you as the owner and chairperson. Treat them with this superiority and you will always be the boss of them.

Always remember that your problems came because of you and without you they will have no place. Therefor you have the solution before they came calling. All you need is to see it as an opportunity to show your superiority that God has given you and benefit from the reward.

CONTROL YOUR EXCITEMENT - Don't let it get to your head!

Your excitement must be managed, it is a clear sign of discipline and maturity. - Austine O. Augustus Author of "Play with your Problems"

Have you heard the story of the two geese and a toad?

There were two geese that wanted to go on an annual migration and as they prepared, the toad asked if he could come along. They agreed to take him along but had to develop a means to make that happen since the toad could not fly. While thinking, the toad came up with a solution:

Each one of them would hold on to a long thread of grass using their mouth

The geese agreed, they held the thread by both ends while the toad clung to it at the middle with his mouth and so the journey began.

This unusual affair caused quiet an uproar and the people looked up to see the great wonder of the toad and two geese. Down below some humans who could not contain their excitement and admiration for the uniqueness of the three buddies in the sky spoke up.

They praised the creativity and cleverness of the three. The praise was so great that it got to the toad's head and he decided to respond. In doing this he had to open his mouth, in opening his mouth he got disconnected, and crashed to the earth.

OH WHAT A GREAT CRASH IT WAS!!

It is important that we know when to keep quiet and when to speak. Sometimes, speaking actually breaks connection and causes a crash or destroys all our hard work. The best thing is not to be bothered by the praise of the praise singers, they will not help your cause.


Honestly? They will be their when u get to the top!

Letting praise or criticism get to your head, shows a weakness we cannot afford to have. We must be able to curb and control our excitements and how we react to them. it is important at most times that even when you are excited and feel that you have a good deal, that you keep a clear and blank face. This also ensures that the other party does not know what is going on in your head and therefore would want to please so as not to loose out. But if you are the kind of person that can easily be read like a book then wahala dey!

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying anything is bad about been excited or about praises or criticism but dwelling on them, so much so that it goes to your head, means you might not be able to go further than where you are presently.

Excitement, praise and criticism is a propeller that should push you to think and strive to be better, not something that needs your response. (Maybe a Thank you would do).

Remember, half-way there does not mean you are there.

Don't let it get to your head, GET A GRIP!!

RENE AND MAGELI

Women of magnitude
Two of a kind but poles apart
Weaving-in out of life
Webs and intimate intricacies
That makes existence an ultimate challenge
Though they started young
Weaving mirrored glasses
That magnifies things in rainbows
And bestows the ideal of everlasting summer
On their believes and outlooks
They came out of a world in which they were born
To find themselves and conquer the world
Not knowing that without removing
From their faces the mirrored glasses
The world would continue to deal them a terrible blow
And after two terrible bangs on the frame
It breaks and falls off
The great trumpet is blown
The mighty wall of Jericho is fallen
As in the bible no one would be able to build this wall
And so the new ideals start
From the debris and rumbles
Come a rambling magnificence
A fortress that cannot be equaled
This is the result of gradual work
Painstaking decisions
Sacrifices made for essence of survival
And since life must go on
They do nothing but go on living
In a life in which they refuse to be
Nothing but the actors, directors & producers
Refusing to be spectators
Or viewers on the outside looking in
At an early age they learn
That life, truly, is not a bed of roses
Lavishly they court the true essence of living
Fighting and winning a war never started
Always on top of whatever it is
That life decides to dish out to them
And as we look on and marvel
At the goodness and beauty of it all
We fail to realize that sacrifices have
Been made in lieu of happiness
In their race they have been able
To do what most would not do
They have made a name for themselves
Overcome all odds and become over comers
We need not contemplate
Lives of two never known to the other
But fighting hard without relenting
Retreating and coming back to win
Never vanquished
They stand out among all
And forever will remain a legend
To be admired from race to race
And generation to generation
They stand out among many
And never cease to amaze
Neither is there a chance
Of them not been able
To surmount all obstacles

RENE AND MAGELI

Women of magnitude

Two of a kind but poles apart

Weaving-in out of life

Webs and intimate intricacies

That makes existence an ultimate challenge

Though they started young

Weaving mirrored glasses

That magnifies things in rainbows

And bestows the ideal of everlasting summer

On their believes and outlooks

They came out of a world in which they were born

To find themselves and conquer the world

Not knowing that without removing

From their faces the mirrored glasses

The world would continue to deal them a terrible blow

And after two terrible bangs on the frame

It breaks and falls off

The great trumpet is blown

The mighty wall of Jericho is fallen

As in the bible no one would be able to build this wall

And so the new ideals start

From the debris and rumbles

Come a rambling magnificence

A fortress that cannot be equaled

This is the result of gradual work /Painstaking decisions

Sacrifices made for essence of survival

And since life must go on

They do nothing but go on living

In a life in which they refuse to be

Nothing but the actors, directors & producers

Refusing to be spectators

Or viewers on the outside looking in

At an early age they learn

That life, truly, is not a bed of roses

Lavishly they court the true essence of living

Fighting and winning a war never started

Always on top of whatever it is That life decides to dish out to them

And as we look on and marvel

At the goodness and beauty of it all

We fail to realize that sacrifices have

Been made in lieu of happiness

In their race they have been able

To do what most would not do

They have made a name for themselves

Overcome all odds and become over comers

We need not contemplate

Lives of two never known to the other

But fighting hard without relenting

Retreating and coming back to win

Never vanquished

They stand out among all

And forever will remain a legend

To be admired from race to race

And generation to generation

They stand out among many

And never cease to amaze

Neither is there a chance

Of them not been able

To surmount all obstacles

PERRY THE TRAVELLER

Perry the man
Perry the lover that found love
Not knowing that his days are numbered
For decades he has been a traveler
seeking an abode in which
He may settle and call home
and for decade he has not found this
Born into riches he takes for granted
and in search of this abode
He marries himself off to an illusion
Perry never really looked
He never paused to realized
Until he discovers that the illusion
to which he clings
Are in shambles and gone forever
and gradually he distances himself
Until the covering is finally removed
And he sees for himself what it is
He should have realized
That with love which he can’t find
there would be no happiness
And then he resumes his travelling
And continues his search
in a remote place in which he did not look
A place he did not take his search to
He finds temporary abode
in the city of pairs he find himself
A permanent abode which is home
In the person he loves
He secludes his finds to himself
Never letting goes but holding fast
that the happiness would not
And never be grasped from his hand
That’s been put in their part
would they find happiness?
Eventually they find
and to them it’s on everlasting treasure
Long forgotten but now known
Beholden and never to be let go
the vanquished they have left behind
And never to come into contact with again
Two distinct individual
Different personalities
But naturally alike
In that they set out to conquer
And in a world of hardship
they did what they could not have done
Initially in their world of make believe.

Rising above "Slavery"

There are different forms of slavery and each form has an effect on us all irrespective of whether we are directly involved or not. There is the physical slavery that we all know and that was abolished long ago, there is the corporate slavery to which a lot are still bound by, sexual or marital slavery in which either party becomes enslaved to the other, mental slavery that gives false hope and binds the soul and financial slavery that breeds corruption. There are a lot more of those but whichever one it is a slave is a slave!

To know if you fall into any of this category, check this out: It results in poverty, irresponsibility, low self-esteem, failure, negative pride and in most cases greed. Whatever way we look at it every individual that cannot account for his life or existence, he who's basic need is dictated by someone else (be it employee or master) is in actual fact a slave.

There is a great difference between deliverance and freedom as we see in the story of the journey of the Israelite from Egypt to Canaan. Moses delivered while Joshua led them to freedom. While under Moses they were delivered physically free but were still mentally enslaved and back in Egypt. By the time the baton was handed to Joshua it was time for accountability and responsibility.

The difference between deliverance and freedom are:
1. when you are been delivered you are still fed and catered for. You still have someone that is still responsible for you. It’s just that he is not a master while freedom means you are responsible accountable, no more manna

2. Freedom means you get to fight but deliverance means someone else fights your battles

3. freedom means you make your own wealth (with help from God) but deliverance you get paid (wages or otherwise)

4.Deliverance means you shift blame when things go wrong or someone bears the blame for your mistakes but freedom means you get the blame when things go wrong

it is quiet unfortunate that a lot of people have been delivered from illiteracy, poverty, bad relationships, financial crisis, and lots more and yet they are not free. Why? They enjoy the satisfaction and irresponsibility that slavery gives to them. That way they don't have to worry about, where the next meal comes from (they get paid end of the month) or who carries the blame.

This is the reason why people in place of power in Nigeria have refused to live the comfort they derive from it. They can act irresponsibly and like the slave master or the prisoner they get to control the slave who does not know his right. Most Nigerians are in a place of slavery one way or the other because most of your do not know our right and those who know have been so blinded by the comfort of enslavement that we do not seek change

Some are slaves to bad habits, they get delivered but are not free. Why? Because they enjoy the pleasure, false security and fleeting joy that slavery gives. The idea that they would have to let go of all the pleasure (no matter how bad) and do what is right serves as a thorn which they do not want to bear. I must tell you first hand the immediate pleasure that slavery gives or the false security would cloud the pain that would come afterward. However, the ability to be free and accept freedom is the first step that makes deliverance different from freedom.

It is high time that we rise above slavery and move from been delivered from colonization to been a free nation. This would start with a change in individual mindset. We must have a mindset that does not push the blame for our backwardness and challenges to the government, society or even our past colonial masters. Let us take our own destiny into our own hands and be accountable for what our future will be. THEN WE CAN SAY WE ARE FREE INDEED!!

Beauty in a wasteland

People say that nothing grows in a wasteland
They say its dry, very dry
Just like the dry bones we read about in the bible
But I took time to look at what we call a wasteland
And all is see is potentials for greatness
When I looked I saw beauty and calm
A quiet peace that beats the continuous rush
That is always evident in the fertile land

People say that nothing grows in a wasteland
But with careful examination
You would notice that not only do things grow
They develop a solid root system that goes deep
A root that can't easily be removed
One that becomes a legacy for generations to come
They also develop strong protective coverings
That keeps them from external element that might harm them

People find it hard to see beauty in a wasteland
But it is in this same waste land
That a mighty army shall rise up from
It is this same land that we now find our selves in
A land where roots are burrowing into the soil
On this wasteland when it rains, it pours
Giving life source of water that would never run dry
One that the endless root can drink from for generations to come

This is the beauty you find in a wasteland
Hidden beauty that becomes a treasure
A treasure for generations yet to be born
A treasure that when we begin to mine it
It will never run dry
A treasure that exhibits the goodness of its maker
What do you see in this wasteland
That I leave to you!

AN ENCOUNTER WITH DISABILITY AND A CELEBRATION OF LIFE

This note came to life as a result of a meeting with a wonderful person, this meeting brought back a time in my life about 2 decades ago. Therefore today I remember how wonderful ability is and how great God’s mercies are in our lives. Today I celebrate life; I celebrate ability (physical, mental, emotional, social, and financial) ability in all areas of life.

At the start of the 1990s I was still in secondary school and I had to repeat a year all over again, my parents could not understand why but they held on. Things began to unravel when I did not pick up academically, in fact they thought I was pregnant since I began to sleep a lot and always got tired. This was because I had never been seriously sick so the idea that I was sick did not even come to mind. Then I could not even go to school, medical test showed I had typhoid fever a serious level of it and the illness took up almost half of a year. I and my 3 younger sisters all got infected but mine was the worst, why? We would never know.

Weeks into the illness I became temporarily paralyzed and retarded (or was it autistic?). My mother had to back me, imagine backing a teenager?! She would clean up after me and sponge bath me. It was so terrible (as I was told) I began to say things that were not reality and I lost complete touch of what was real. I could not even feed myself and this went on for months.

I WAS COMPLETELY DISABLED IN ALL WAYS IMAGINABLE TO MAN!!

Why this note? Today as I remember the pain that my family went through praying that I get better and believing that God in heaven will make this happen, I relate with every parent, child, sibling and spouse who is going through what my parents went through for 6 months. A lot of them have dealt with and continue to deal with pain for years without any light at the end of the tunnel and for some there is no way out.

I was not there, so I can’t completely tell the story neither can I share the pain that my family went through because at the time I could not really understand. When I got out of the disability my family was overjoyed and that joy could not enable them share the real pain and agony that they went through so I can’t give you a complete picture.

But this is what I want you to take out of this, it could have been anyone (don’t say God forbid please) because it really could have been anyone. What happened had happened to some (even people I used to know) who never survived and some others are yet to recover from the effect of such sickness. What is it that you are doing to help the person with disability around you? This people I speak of are not the beggars on the street but persons who out of no wish of their own find themselves in this situation and can’t seem to get out of it. Share their pain and help make their lives better. Help create an environment where the persons with disability around you feels like a part of the world you live in, help ensure that they are not second class citizens.

No one knows tomorrow, my parents did not and they had a taste (for 6 months) of how life would be living with a child as who was almost a vegetable. Life is meant for us all, give a helping hand.

This year would mark 19 years that I got over my temporary disability and today God sent someone to remind me of his grace and goodness. Today I am reminded that I am not better than the man without sight or hearing. I am not better that the autistic or the bed ridden, I am not special BUT I have just been given the grace.

I recount my encounter with disability and I celebrate life this day, may God help us all!!

THESE I grew up knowing!!

I grew up knowing that education was the greatest gift a Parent could give to a child and that the best first step for any child would be to value education and make the best of it. I realised that education was not only what you learnt in school, it comprises of a lot of things and most of this were things that you took time to learn yourself. I grew up on books with which i was able to travel to places learn about people and values and carve a place for me. A place where the value of learning and absorbing has become a part of me.

I grew up knowing that relationships are not for children and sex is not something to be taken lightly. I learnt from my parents that for sex to be meaningful love and understanding must come first. I learnt early that what is meant for an adult must not be taken lightly by a child. That a child should not give birth to another child. While a child be a child and when the time comes to have what the adult has, then it will get to your turn.

I grew up with the knowledge that maturity has nothing to do with age and that you can be old and not matured while you can be young and be matured. I realised that our maturity is as a result of our values and the knowledge that we have acquired through mistakes and failures with time.

Over time i realised that no one can love you if you don't love yourself and what ever value you intend to share with other you must first have an understanding of it. I learnt that values are like the bamboo tree; deep rooted and almost impossible to uproot. So I learnt early that we must let people see the "me" you are inside.

I learnt that the success you are today comes from the efforts u made yesterday, and the failures you took time to learn from. That success is not automatic and so it must be worked for and achieved over time.

My mother always made us understand that God is not a magician, he cannot give you something out of nothing. That no matter how hard you pray, if its not backed with faith and works then u become like an empty sounding cymbal. Therefore I learnt to work and live by faith.

I realized that the harder I try to get something outside of God the further away from me it was. This made me conclude that my life is not dependent on wants but on needs and those on what is actually necessary. I learnt and am still learning that in everything I have to put god first and keep him there.

Above all, I learnt that love is the only adhesive that will hold people and nations together. But first the love must start in US; personal and familial love for the next person. This love will create a ripple effect that would change lives.

The me I see!!

On a faithful day some decades ago there was a lot of rejoicing and happiness when a new baby girl was born into the world. Little did the world know that that little girl child would go through pains and so much trials and still be single.

Growing up was fun, because even if I was not born with a golden spoon in my mouth at least I had the proverbial silver spoon to hold on to. Things were good! In a time when Nigeria was growing my parents were actually among one of the very comfortable ones.
Life for the little Girl I was back then, was laced with comfort and joy and even though I saw people with not so much as we had, it never occurred to me that we could end up in penury or that my dad's numerous companies could all go bankrupt. But then what did a little girl know? My early years in school were the best and that was because I did not only learn, I had the best teacher ever, MY DAD!
Anyway, thing started unraveling in my secondary school days. Life was beginning to get hard and I began to have an understanding of what going to bed without food meant, not having the money to buy that which you wanted when you wanted it was a major issue. The fact that we end up blaming life for our situations also became something I had to learn and then another thing I had to unlearn as the times went by. I grew up knowing that life was not really as we had lived it while growing up but that sometimes "things just go wrong" Why? I don't know but really I have no intention of pushing blame.
Later in my early 20s I began to understand that we alone can carve our own destinies, not our parents, not our situation and most importantly not our government. I had spent 5 years at home waiting to gain admission into the university, and then suddenly it dawned on me that if I continued to sit at home I might never go to university. So I determined in myself in 1997 that once i sat for the exam and I made the average score I was going to get admission and you know what? I DID! It was not as difficult as I had thought neither was it as easy as we all think it was. But I was able to get admission into 2 universities the same year.
What was left was where was the money going to come from? I was stumped but then I said to myself, you are in and nothing would stop you from graduating. Then and there I decided I would make good use of what I had. I started making hair for friends since I was good at that. Then I started home coaching later on when friends would make hair and not pay. I did a lot of jobs in the university but I also enjoyed my time there as well. I remember the days of been ever present at the student union arcade, the joy of been part of the activism (at least to a level) and the enjoyment of making good grades in spite of work and play. I was not at my best but I did my best, both at work and at school.
But then the learning was not over. I had to learn that the universities in Nigeria never prepare you for the outside world and I learnt the hard way. With what I had, I found it hard to get a job coupled with the fact that I was already nearing my 3.0 years and I did not serve with my mates. It was so bad at one time that I wondered if I was going to have to go get married first before getting a job. But then I realise that I don't have a job because I don't have any skills to offer any employer. So I started to build and build and here I am now I don't just have the skills but I am very proud of where I am and give thanks to my creator for his grace and love.
I grew up as a snob that selected friends and found it hard to relate with anyone below my level, but now I can relate with anyone whatever and where ever. It’s a great thing to know that all it took for me was that decision to be the creator of my own destiny. To take my destiny (the one that God gave me) in my own hands and make of it what I dream of in the dead of the night.
I am not there yet but at least now I know that I will get there. When? I can't tell you for sure, but when I do get there I will let you know.

WHAT IS IT ABOUT BEING BIG?

What is it about Africa and our culture that is so unattractive to us? Why must we totally discard our tradition because of some alien culture craze?

What is it about big bodied African that has suddenly gone out of fashion? Why have six packs and bony women become fashionable. Back in the days, the full bodied African woman was a Queen? When women chasing was concerned I even learn t that in certain parts of Nigeria, being skinny was so unhealthy and ungodly that women were sent to fattening rooms before they were married out so that the new husbands will know that the bride is from a family that took care of her needs.
Where have all the full bodied "orobo" women gone, why has it suddenly become fashionable to spend the whole day in a gym suffering and sweating blood all in the name of being skinny and having the European slim look?
I remember the movie “PHAT GIRLS” when the African doctor, told Monique that in Africa, big women are in serious demand.
In those days, men wanted to hug a woman and know that they had something to hold not all the oyinbo looking black skeletons that our women have now become today.
For goodness sake, what is wrong with the BIG BODIED?
I believe this is another way of “oyinbo recolonization” and brain washing .
All the best adverts on T.v have slim girls, every product is advertised by slim women and suddenly “thin is beautiful and fat is UGLY. The same way white is good and everything black is supposed to be bad……., remember blackmail, black-book, black-day,black sheep of the family, and in fact the devil is black, HABA!!
At a point, our women were so taken in by this white supremacist theories that they all wanted to be white, so they bleached and even some shameless men joined them in this ungodly act.
Then came the age of our local hairdos, not being good enough. I am talking about "shuku", "patew"o,all back and base, "binta" my daughter, "aladimole", "shuku ologede", and the likes that the queen of Sheba had on when Solomon saw her and he went weak at the knees an had to marry this African beauty.
Our women then started frying their hair in the name of Jerry curls, under the drier and reducing their brain power because of the perming plus washing and setting. Now the craze has gone further it is human hair.
I am sure that soon our women will have "oyinbo" women chasing them in their sleep asking for their hair to be returned not to talk of horses. HABA.
What is it about Africa and our culture that is so unattractive to us? Why must we totally discard our tradition because of some alien culture craze?
The way God created Africans , we are meant to be big,yours truly has tried everything to loose weight but it just keeps popping back, that means my DNA must have been configured by the master architect God; to be like that.
White people because of their diet, location and configuration are not meant to be fat. There is a difference between being obese and fat, obesity is carelessness white fat is natural. There is also a point of being slim that is carelessness, it is called anorexia, sisters eat.
If that guy is gonna love you, he is gonna love you. It has nothing to do with your size, it has more to do with the brain and character. I think in the spirit of natural re-branding, Dora Akinyuli must stand firm and show us the true picture of Nigeria woman. Is she full bodied or anorexic "lepa". God is not wicked enough to give you fat and expect you to spend all your time and money loosing it.
Do not get me wrong, stay in shape but do not kill yourself over the taunts of people who tell you, you are fat. You are not, you are just the way the Nigerian woman or man was created to be.
I know I am going to get a lot of flack over this but the truth of it is, I know somebody out there is going through the “you should loose some weights taunts” , next time a "lepa" disturbs you with that, tell him or her get some weight….get a life.
though I am not guilty of being attracted to "orobos", I know there are men out there who would die for them………

by Adebayo Bishop Ademola


Lepa means Skinny
Orobo means fat and shapely

What has the Bible got to do with it?!

I know funny topic! this days I am constantly asked by friends and not so friendly friends "what has the bible got to do with it?" I even get this question from my "Christian" friends some of whom are born again. But what actually brought up this post was a conversation I was having yesterday with someone (name withheld) who felt that I was tooooooooo religious because I brought the Bible and God into a business question.

Our discussion was on "how to actually be a better you" well something like that anyway. I refereed to the book of genesis, the story of creation and man. I was trying to point out how unique man was amongst all of God's creation and the fact that man ought to be able to have complete control of himself and his environment because God has given him that power.

Anyway that is another topic for another day. This topic is actually to just let us know what the bible has got to do with it! IT been every aspect of our lives! I have come to realize that whatever you are passing through in life someone in the bible is a good case study. Although u also have such case study in real life but the good thing about the bible is that it gives u step by step solutions to the problems. Basically it shows you how to apply this solutions too and how to pray as well. I like the stories of Prophets Elisha, Ezekiel and Nehemiah.

In 2Kings 4 we read about the widow who was taught how to manage debts, once this method is understood and applied it goes a long way in helping u be a good manager and entrepreneur. It also helps you have an understanding of the fact that you have something with you that is useful to the general public and so can be converted to an income generating business/idea.

The book of Esther gives you a step by step breakdown of how best to beat the enemy at his doorstep. Military tactics.It also shows that for everything you have to put God first.

This is what the Bible has Got to do with it:

1

Its a good case study for all occurrences

2

Its a map to a destination

3

With the bible You cant go wrong

4

It reminds you constantly to put God first

5

It helps you understand that you are not alone and you are not the first

So next time you are with someone and he refers to the Bible or God, don't get your dander up! That is the best place to get answers.

On This Land

On this land, I was Born.
Born to be Great.
Greatness, I shall attain.

On this land, I have Grown.
Grown with Pride.
Prideful joy.

On this land, I was Trained.
Trained to Be good.
Be good to all men.

On this land, my eyes opened.
opening to the greed.
The greed and selfishness of men.

On this land, I shall struggle.
Struggle for what is mine.
And mine it shall be.

On this land, I shall fight.
Fight for my freedom.
The freedom to live.

On this land, I shall battle.
Battle for the freedom.
The freedom of others.

On this land, I shall restore.
Restore our pride.
The pride that was in tatters.

On this land, I shall live.
Live and let live.
Live peacefully with others.

On this land, I shall multiply.
Multiply into dynasties.
Dynasties of heroes.

On this land, I shall harvest.
Harvest my fruits.
The fruits of my labour.

On this land, I shall die.
die with pride.
The pride of the land.

On this land, I shall live.
Live in the memories of men.
Men who will uphold the pride of the land.

©Idris Dosunmu 2010

A NEW BEGINNING

They were young in their teens, both Girl and boy
They were first love
They fell in love deeply with each other that it seems no one;
Even death will depart and leave them to enjoy their lives.
They dated for several years, knowing and loving one another
Each passing day.
Tending to one another emotionally, academically, and all you can think of
They seems to be inseparable as their feelings grows more and more
After several years, seven years of dating each other to be precise
They were forcefully separated, not by death though
But by obstacles beyond their control or understanding
Both went their separate ways
With pains and feeling of emptiness
On how life has treated them
But after several years,
Thirteen years exactly
They met again
Still in love.
LOVE!!!

This is a new beginning on another side of love