WHAT IS FRIENDHSIP??

Today is the 21st day of January, 2011 at 06:11 hours Nigerian time here I am sitting on a two-sitter couch in the living room of the two-bedroom flat I share with my siblings. My sister called me this morning at exactly 10:34:09am and told me my eldest brother said I was a thief and that she agreed completely. What did I steal? My own money! However I will not go into the gory details of what led to the name calling but I hung up the phone bitter and almost in tears, well I was in tears with my heart bleeding and nothing to stop it.

Why am I writing this and then putting it out here in cyberspace for the whole of the cyber world to read? Well honestly, I don’t know but after the call I spent hours in contemplation of the journey to where I am today and what I could hang on to. To my disappointment or should I say amazement, I realized that aside from the God who created me and whom I love, I had no one who really knew me or I could say is actually my shoulder to cry on.

Don’t get me wrong, I have friends and I am fortunate to have met people, I even have family members and a lovely parents. But in all of these people I could not think of one person I could call and pour out my heart to.
Realizing this I decided that I might as well be alone in the world or let’s put it this way, in spite of the fact that I love people and life it was obvious that when it really comes down to it “it’s just me” after all is said and done.

At this conclusion, I now wonder what really is friendship and who really is a friend? Is there a kind of grade for knowing who your friend is? If family can gang up against you to do you harm then won’t a “friend” do worse?
Do I continue to love people or do I just love myself alone? Where is that helping hand that should be there for me to make my burden lighter? Or did I miss something along the way about what and who a “friend” should be? I thought it is said “a tree does not make a forest”? or is it that all trees should be their own keeper? I ask all these questions because if I can’t point at one person and say this is the one person who knows me well, then what is the purpose of friendship?

Someone please help me!!
If you have answers to my question please I would like to hear them. God bless you as you read and lend a helping hand.

ONE STEP AT A TIME

There is one great beauty to life
The beauty of watching a baby learning to walk
They move through life taking it one step at a time
And the funny thing is that they enjoy each step
Have you ever thought of what it takes
To move one step at a time?
To simple enjoy life the way it comes without worries?
Have you thought of the beauty of taking your time
And not working at anyone else’s pace?

For the baby learning to walk and the parents
Each step is a delight
Each day is a challenge and a new experience
The joy and wonder in the eye of the baby
Is a wonderful picture to behold all on its own
It’s a gift to them to just be able to go through one step
It’s a wonder to everyone around to also see this great wonder
But what is most amazing is the fact that
When they fall they are ready to stand up again and again
They would only wail with the immediate pain
And once they are back on their feet
The pain of the fall is forgotten for the joy of another step

They toddle along in a near race walking at a pace that can’t be rushed
It is so unlike the steps we take as adults
We are so impatient to move along
We never take time to enjoy each step and to be grateful for it
We complain and blame our legs for not moving faster
We complain about our life for not moving at our own pace
We complain when people around us try to make us understand
We fail to see that the more we run the farther off the finish line is
We set a very far target for ourselves and complain if we don’t get their
But the baby?
All she wants to do is get to the television or her toy
She wants to able to welcome her mummy and dad
Once they get into the house
She wants to move just for the beauty and fun of life

But we adults we have so much plans
We have so many places we want to be all at once
That most times when we fall
Getting back on our feet takes much more time for us
And even in most cases we just sit on and let time pass by
We cry foul and blame everything but not ourselves
We set ourselves up to fall
But we fail to see it
Let’s remember to take life
ONE STEP AT A TIME
Enjoying each step as we take them
And celebrating each step as we make them
With this we will achieve more and get more out of life

LEAVING YOUR MARK ON THE SANDS OF TIME

We are born, we grow and then we die but in between all this stages in life we are all on this earth to leave our mark on the sands of time. How we do that however is left to each and every individual person. For some of us we try to be of positive impact to everyone we come across, for others we try as much as we can to please ourselves and are not worried about who we hurt along the way while we have some of us who are not really bothered about making an impact and so just go with the flow.

Irrespective of whatever way we try to live our lives, somewhere on this beautiful earth our failures and successes are recorded for posterity. It might not be one that is known to the whole world, we might not be as famous as Michael Jackson, Winston Churchill, Adolf Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, J. F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, Desmond Tutu, M. K. O. Abiola, I.B. Babangia, Aliko Dangote, Bill Gates, Thomas Edison or any of the other names that comes to mind. But we must remember that someone somewhere is watching us and learning something from us.

What they learn therefore is determined by us alone and maybe the person that is a student of life. It is imperative that whatever we do we must remember that we would leave a mark on the sands of time. Just like a fossilized print of the ancient and extinct plants and animals that makes it possible for us to understand the past of the earth and mankind, so also will our marks be studied for years to come in other for the generations coming behind us to have an understanding of our time.

Since we all know that time is the most precious gift of life and that time waits for no one in spite of everyone having the same 24hours we must therefore ensure that as time goes by our footsteps on the sands of time is not wiped away by the torrents of life or by the heavy storms we pass through in our own life. We know that with time the track grows cold if we do not leave a way for those coming behind us to be able to locate our route. So as we move along leave a beautiful marker for people to be able to find their way, this way they don’t get lost and they learn faster.

Our life is an open book irrespective of whether you are a celebrity or not, live it well! Our souls will give account one day, keep it well! Our minds are great networks of life and its intricacies, manage it properly! Our body is a vehicle for all this to thrive, treat it with all the care it deserves. But remember that whatever the marks we want to or try to leave on the sands of time, only us can determine or change it. So your life and destiny is yours to make good on! You are here on this wonderful earth already, MAKE IT COUNT FOR SOMETHING!!

ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING

Strange as it seems a lot of people live their lives on the outside looking in. it’s like standing at the window of life and watching others as they party and have a good time.
You are lonely and alone. The whole world is moving forward except you and yet you wonder “why not me?” The pain is masked, the fear has control and it is impossible to accept the invite to join the party. You are the family black sheep, the school geek, the community’s oddball, the office dumbass, the friend who everyone passes over, the unassuming one that is not expected to have an opinion. You wonder why this should be so and yet you do nothing to change the way things are.
To you that’s the way things are and that’s the way it should stay. Every once in a while you wish you could join the party but just as the thoughts come to you, you hear the words “you can never be like them”. Well that voice has spoken the truth and is right in saying you can never be like them. You know why? You are better than they are! You are unique and with all the potentials to be great. The only thing holding you back and is not allowing you to join the party is YOU. Yes you are so caught up in what others think and say that you fail to give YOU a chance to be you.
Therefore you find it easier not to find out if they are wrong. You are so worried that they could be right that proving them wrong does not even come to mind. You are so in the grip of the fear for the unknown that the simple act of living is a chore that you find very difficult.
This should not be the case love. Life is here just for you. You know how some birds learn how to fly? Their mama pushes them out of the nest! Yep, very drastic and risky. What if the bird can’t fly or the reflexes don’t kick in fast enough? Remember that the first thing about life is not living but survival and so the bird will not fail itself because it wants to survive. Living comes after survival is certain, that is the part when you begin to enjoy the party. You have to first make it to the party and enter in at the door.
The same goes for you. Take a chance, join the party and have a good time. That party will not be the same without you. What it needs to be the best party ever is your presence, your participation, your enjoyment and your joy of just been the life of the party. Always remember that no man is an island and its impossible to have a go at life alone. If that were the case I am sure God would have stopped human creation with just Adam. But then you would not be here now would you?
Stop looking in through the window, the door of life and all its enjoyment and pain is open to you. Enjoy the good, learn from the bad and reflect on the ugly. You never can say that ugly could just be the beast waiting for your kiss to turn into a handsome prince!!
Happy 2011!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT WILL NOT ARRIVE LATE

There is time for everything we hear
There is time for everything we know
We get a vision, we have a dream
We look for ways to make them a reality
Sometimes we are in too much haste
Sometimes we are not attentive enough
Even at times we are just indifferent
And in some instances fear holds us back
Just like we read of the story of the manna from heaven
No matter how much the size is
It will still be the same weight
So also no matter how hard we try to hasten it
That success we seek will arrive at the set time

Yep!
Their truly is an appointed time for everything
But what and when is that appointed time?
This becomes the question that we need answers to
How do we know that it has arrived and not a fluke?
Actually this is the easy part
When success comes it cannot be hidden or held down
Success speaks for itself and does not bring shame
It is not a thing to fear and is responsible
Success is not wealth or riches
These are just the elements that go with it
They are part of the rewards for success


Success does not arrive late
It comes gradually and is identified not by the beneficiary
At least not initially
But by the people around who can see the manifestation of it
It is an accomplishment that we get for working well and hard
Therefore if it is an accomplishment
Then it will arrive not late
But at a time when the seeds we have sown bring forth fruit
And you know that it is impossible to hide the fruits on a tree
Everyone that passes by will see it and admire it
They will want a bit too

Remember that success will come
Only if you have put something into getting it
It is impossible for something to come out of nothing
Therefore put in that effort that is needed
Do not relent
Don’t be shaken or blown out of course
For the success that we all seek
Will arrive just at the right time!

THE YEAR 2010: TAKING A LOOK BACK

“Defeat is a choice, so is victory; you can only be beaten when you decide that you can never win. As long as you have breath and life in you keep on fighting and you will come out on top! - Anonymous”

At the start of the year, I had so much expectations; some of which I achieved completely, some in parts and some not at all. But! There were also the unexpected that signified and brought to the fore the beauty and goodness of God and his enduring mercies. To a lot of us what I am about to do is “counting my blessing and reviewing my losses”.

“MY BLESSINGS”
1.It will be remise of me not to start with the greatest expectation of all i.e. been alive to see the end of 2010 and starting a new year. GLORY BE TO GOD WHO MADE THAT POSSIBLE!!
2.Good health, this year I have not been to the hospital for any kind of ailment but only to visit with my sister when she gave birth
3.I am still single but I am also happy in that God would do the best
4.My business is moving forward a step at a time
5. Made new friends, great friends so much so that if I start mentioning names I might have to write a book. I hope we enjoy many more years as friends!!
6. Got selected to participate in a Youth Entrepreneurship program bootcamp out of about 1,000 applicants. Made it to the top 30!!
7. Volunteered for a teaching project, PROJECT RAISE ONE MILLION. Taught English to WAEC students of a school in Lagos and got a certificate to show for it!!
8. My sister got married and in December gave birth
9. Was selected to be part of the SMEDAN training of trainers program organized for enterprise developers
10. Was and is part of a facilitating team teaching entrepreneurship to a group of young men
11. Attended a minimum of 10 seminars and conferences all of which have opened my mind to new and greater things
12. A year older and wiser
13. Helped a friend organize the flow of caterers on her wedding day
14. Was on radio; Unilag FM (stood in for a friend actually) to speak about “business planning”
15. Was featured in Vanguard newspaper in Patricia Omoqui’s column ALLURE
16. Started three (3) blogs and still run them
17. Volunteer for a leadership school, NGOs, and causes
18. Reconnected with old friends even some as far back as my primary school days
19. Visited another state in the federation
20. Started another income generating project a bit staggered but with good potentials
21. Discovered a new and vital service that Nigerians and Nigerian Businesses need to help them survive. All I need now is the right person that can run with it!!
22. Go to bed each night and wake up to a new and better day each day!

“MY LOSSES”
I would like to call this part moving experiences that tried my faith in God and myself and not losses.
1. Did not meet my expected number of clients for 2010 (and I know why)
2. Failed to make it to the top 20 list for the YEP trip to Miami
3. Ended the year with a broken relationship (his loss is someone else’s gain)
4. Made a bad investment decision and I have the scars and dents in my pocket to show for it!!
5. Discovered a new weakness in my business (although I am not sure if this is a weakness) which has resulted in slow growth of business
6. Was unfortunate to be introduced to 2 persons (make that three) who turned out to be untrustworthy. You know yourselves!! You cost me money and a lot of trouble
7. Worked on a proposal for a LGA project but due to bureaucracy and the choppers syndrome it did not fly
8. Was broke for a third of the year, I wonder why!!

Whichever way I look at it, I find that “MY BLESSINGS” far outweighs “MY LOSSES” for this I give all glory to God who has made me see this. But most importantly I thank God for my losses and those events that I have not listed (so many of them) for without them I can never be a better person come 2011!

“Don’t look down while passing through life for your vision and faith is not linked to the ground. Look up and ahead because your vision is from God (who is up above and inside of you) and the sky is just the beginning”

THE SHIP CALLED 2010

I sailed on a ship called 2010 and along the way we went through a lot. I was not alone in that ship, there was a captain who made sure we got to the end of the journey safely and in one piece and there were also other passengers and crew members who were there to ensure that I was not alone. All these people together made life in 2010 memorable for me and ensured that it is a year to remember.

Even during the darkest storm and the best of weather they were there for me, we waded through it all together in the love and confidence that we had in a God who did not fail as a captain of the ship.

On this ship 2010, I had you to show me that I was not alone, to help guide me and set my foot on solid ground, when the times were at its worst you were there to make it better. Through your friendship it was possible for me to persevere and make it to the end because with you I had no reason to lose hope.

I am talking about you my great and wonderful friends that have encouraged me all the way, you have referred clients to my business, opened doors of opportunities my way, made an effort to comfort me while I was down and under, and encouraged my faith in my God.

For this I say that as we alight from 2010 today to board the next ship called year 2011 may we grow from strength to strength. In this New Year we shall not fail nor falter, we shall continue in love and grace and may the abundant mercies of our Lord be upon us to see us through to the end of this journey call year 2011 and many more voyages. I pray that this voyage shall not be our last but a beginning of so much more to come.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!