"JUST BEFORE YOU SAY I DO"

The rate at which marriages are breaking gives me serious concern and breeds so much fear in me.I know of couple who had dated for almost 9years,they had a very big society wedding,with all the glitz and glamor,there was so much fun,love and happiness in the air,friends, family and well wishers,where are present to witness and celebrate their unique friendship which blossomed into marriage, infact most people  concluded that the wedding was just a mere party owing to the fact that the had courted for a very long time.At the end of the day,every one went home and left the 2 love birds to continue their lives,Exactly 9 months later rumors hit the neighborhood that their marriage was at the verge of breaking,in another 2 months it was now glaring,they were apart,the lady moved to another city unknown to the man and moved on with her life...i was so heart broken with the news considering the fact that i was at the wedding,i witnessed the show of love and affection. The rest is history now,that marriage is no more,and no one has been able to get the real fact why they both couldn't keep their marriage. I know of another couple who have been married for over 24 years,they are always having issues,for years they dont talk to each other but they leave under the same roof,i begin to wonder,cos i heard this same people where love birds in the past. What went wrong?
 I have come to understand in my very short experience with relationships that love is not what keeps it going its the mutual understanding and trust that does.Many times women go over board with our emotions,we nag,we suspect a lot,we allow our intuitions to be governed by our immediate emotions etc.Men have their own weakness too but i believe in every relationship a woman plays a more significant role in ensuring its sustenance.
I want to say that most young people dont understand marriage before they jump into it,they prepare for the ceremony and not the main thing,thats the reason why when the they are faced with the challenges that come with marriage,they chicken out easily. I always say that single hood is a unique period of our lives,we must seize the opportunity to prepare for the the future.Most girls believe marriage is all about going to leave with the one they love and can spend the rest of their lives with etc,that is a very wrong notion,a woman is created to complement a man,help give meaning to his life,thats why the bible refers to us as a help meet, ie someone that has a mission to accomplish in a mans life. when women start thinking towards this direction,it would help in preparing them for the task ahead. as for the man,he must start seeing himself as a man with a divine mandate to establish a generation,he must come to a point where he knows he needs a woman not a girl in his life not just as a companion but also as a complementer,with such mindset his choice would be easier and wouldn't be carried away with vain beauty that is been paraded everywhere. If singles really take out time to think and pray about marriage it would be much more easier.
Just before you say i do, it is not too late to walk out,its better to walk out one minute before your exchange bands than after. Another reason why marriages fail is that people dont truly fear God,if they do,why would you stand before the alter of God been witnessed by friends and family and when crisis come instead of asking God for solutions you would damn Him(God) and walk out from the marriage allowing the devil to have his way.
Friends,if the relationship aint working,it aint working,let go and take some time to work on your selves to give it a 2nd trail,if it doesn't then let it be,dnt allow mere emotions or pity drive you into what you wouldn't enjoy for the rest of your lives. Long courtship or love is not the main criteria why you must marry some one,if you both aint compact able, why push it? family,societal,religious,influences should not be considered when making your choice,reasons been that they would stand by you before and not after the marriage.Also the church and other religious institutions should help prepare couples for life after marriage not only taking them through marriage classes and test but see to their progress after marriage.
Finally,i want to say that we young people should not just look out for someone who has money,prospects etc but also a man/woman that has a teachable spirit,forgiving heart,humble,easy to understand,can let go of grudges and above all, one that fears God from the heart and not lip service,to me this are the basics the rest can be improved upon. Take out time to prepare,for the women,learn to cook,wash,basic home keeping,dnt rely on house maids,develop a particular skill that can generate funds for you to assist the man in running the home(Yes of course,a help meet has to contribute no matter how small) dont  be a liability,be a treasured asset. As for the men,work hard now so your family would be well taken care off,develop other skills to create funds,be a defender and not a nuisance.Read the bible,books and other helpful materials on marriage and look out for a mentor who would influence you positively. I look forward to seeing long lasting marriages. Stay blessed.