CHURCH PEOPLE

I would be very free on this post and i expect all my readers to flow with me.First of all I would want to ask ''WHAT IS A CHURCH''?. I am sure I would have a lot of spiritual and religious definitions.Well, to a lay  man, ''A church is God's house where His children gather every other day for fellowship''. Going by this definition,is the church really a home for God's children or a mere building that is governed by the commander(The Pastor)? Some pastors have converted many odd places into Churches,their living rooms hotels,sex brothels,schools,family halls and the roads.
I want to take us through some very ugly trends that i have witnessed in our Churches especially here in Nigeria  and lets see how we can correct them.
I am not against the Church but I must say most of these points are threatening the very existence of Christianity hence forcing many to turn against the faith.The issue of tithing is first on my list,the way most pastors stress on it as if you don't give you hate God and would invoke God's wrath or create an opening for the devil's punishment,most pastors go as far as pronouncing curses on those who dont give or give in smaller denominations.As far as i am concerned,God loves His children,our giving only expresses our love for Him and not that is acts as a sure means to bribe God cos if all you do is to pay tithes and offerings and you dnt leave a holy life all na zero o. Another is when pastors are raising offerings they would start with high amounts,only the rich can afford the sums, denying the poor of the blessing; that's one thing that has led people into living a fake life,they want to impress the pastor and the church so they would come out even when its not convenient for them; money that can be used to pay their children's school fees or help in setting up business would be used as offering cos they believe if they don't give, then they don't love God (too bad). Well, that's a wrong motive for giving cos the Bible clearly states that God loves a cheerful giver. Its not only in the quality or quantity but the motive for giving to God.
This brings us to another issue plaguing the Church.Unbelievers now see the church as a money making venture: The Church is now a sole proprietor business,one man show as some may say.No one accounts for Church funds cause the signatories to the accounts are the Pastor,his Wife and most times Close family pals...Na wa!.This is why many people are scared of giving to God cos they believe they are enriching just one man.These days you'll find pastors soliciting for funds to build church projects that upon completion would be converted to their personal property. This brings me to a big question,what does the church do for the Church (its members?).What is wrong if the church gives Scholarships to the poor ones amongst them?. Why can't the Rich use their influence to help the unemployed to get jobs?. Instead of building State of the Art edifices just to show that the Church Building is world class,(i am not saying its a bad thing ooo), why not channel most of the resources into low cost building for poor church members?. The very rich in the church can have a project to sponsor some members for professional courses abroad.Why can't we have free schools as the Catholic Missionaries used to?; Why can't the Church have free medicals regularly for the elderly ones? .Yes the church can if they want but the Pastor may not promote it cos if he does, people would reduce their 'SEED SOWING'.. we all labor to give to the church through our offerings,tithes,special levies etc,apart from God's blessing that comes from Him directly and the joy of fellowship as brethren what other benefit?. Some Churches don't help in anyway(Marriage/Weddings,Burials,Dedications etc) you must pay a large sum even as a church member to use the Church premises for occassions.Infact they would ask for officiating ministers offering etc. In the early church in Acts 3 you'll find out that the rich sold their properties in other to help the poor we don't see these things again.The Rich now have a clique in Church.When they are not around the pastors would go to their houses to look for them. When their dogs die pastors are there to console them. The poor ones are not giving such preference; in fact pastors don't have their numbers, neither do they have access to them. Jesus ministry on earth was for all and not for the selected few.Why this ugly trend of favoritism?
Another ugly trend is what I call fashion madness. Since the late 90's when the church movement changed to  come as you are, so as to embrace everyone putting aside the old religion of discriminating certain (Unbelievers), people now dress to church anyhow. On sunday, I worshipped in a Redeemed Church at Lekki.I must tell you it was a lovely service.The worship session was awesome;just as Iopened my eyes after being over taken by the worship,what caught my attention was a lady who wore a mini gown to church.As i was boiling, another girl's hot sexy gown provoked me the more.As the service came to an end on my way out i saw things that nearly made me cry.Even the angels in heaven would exclaim;"oboy eyyye" with eyes popping wide.Mehn this drama queen wore a panty hose with a tight,short club top with serious heels to church(which levels). I began to wonder how many men who saw that were be able to concentrate in Church.That was pure distraction to me.I am not saying one should dress shabily to church but the key word is modesty and decency. When people,especially girls wear indecent clothes to Church, what do they have at the back of their minds?. Is to seduce men and the Pastor, to look hot or just fashion?. We need to checkmate it. It wasn't so from the beginning. We can save our hot gowns for parties,clubs etc. In fear of not to losing members, no body would frown at it; even pastors wives now fix long nails,lashes,wear short dresses, no much difference between them and the so called unbelievers that the Church criticise and that is what their members emulate.
Lastly on this Church trends are those who steal in Church. You can imagine I heard a woman lost her car during a Church Crusade.People steal things in Church... too bad. God is watching!. People no longer fear God in Church. That's where you would find the worst things going on: Church members dating each other,Choir master sleeping with Choir members, Church leaders masterminding crime in their places of work etc.
This is not a post to criticize any one but to help check mate us. All these points raised are the truth and they  need serious attention.The Bible says God is a Spirit and we must worship Him in Spirit and in truth. We must learn to call a spade a spade.We can all contribute to making things better by addressing the ones that affect us,eg  the issue of giving.Let's not give out of compulsion or to show off  to satisfy the Pastor.It is God who knows our hearts and would reward us not the pastor.Based on the issue of discrimination,let us show true love to our brethren,visit and encourage the needy in our church and environment,not just in words but also in kind; not that you would give a bag of rice to someone and announce it to the neighborhood or turn the person to your slave just because you paid the person's school fees. As for those who are fashion icons save your skimpy gowns for other outings,don't drive another woman's man into fornication or adultery,dress modestly,don't draw attention to your self with your possessions. Let your life be an example to the unbelievers, not that in your neighborhood you are notorious for looking down on people just because you have a car etc.As for those who steal in Churches, please change your ways,don't incur God's wrath upon your generation... Eheen,as for our Pastors lets keep praying for them that God would open their eyes to the truth and help them to get it right,and also if you have the boldness to advice them on it please do so...let's practice Christianity as it ought to be and stop allowing the hidden sins to make a mockery of our Faith.
Finally, I want to say that the Church is a place where people go to and expect love,show love,act love and be an epitome of love..Peacexxx     

"JUST BEFORE YOU SAY I DO"

The rate at which marriages are breaking gives me serious concern and breeds so much fear in me.I know of couple who had dated for almost 9years,they had a very big society wedding,with all the glitz and glamor,there was so much fun,love and happiness in the air,friends, family and well wishers,where are present to witness and celebrate their unique friendship which blossomed into marriage, infact most people  concluded that the wedding was just a mere party owing to the fact that the had courted for a very long time.At the end of the day,every one went home and left the 2 love birds to continue their lives,Exactly 9 months later rumors hit the neighborhood that their marriage was at the verge of breaking,in another 2 months it was now glaring,they were apart,the lady moved to another city unknown to the man and moved on with her life...i was so heart broken with the news considering the fact that i was at the wedding,i witnessed the show of love and affection. The rest is history now,that marriage is no more,and no one has been able to get the real fact why they both couldn't keep their marriage. I know of another couple who have been married for over 24 years,they are always having issues,for years they dont talk to each other but they leave under the same roof,i begin to wonder,cos i heard this same people where love birds in the past. What went wrong?
 I have come to understand in my very short experience with relationships that love is not what keeps it going its the mutual understanding and trust that does.Many times women go over board with our emotions,we nag,we suspect a lot,we allow our intuitions to be governed by our immediate emotions etc.Men have their own weakness too but i believe in every relationship a woman plays a more significant role in ensuring its sustenance.
I want to say that most young people dont understand marriage before they jump into it,they prepare for the ceremony and not the main thing,thats the reason why when the they are faced with the challenges that come with marriage,they chicken out easily. I always say that single hood is a unique period of our lives,we must seize the opportunity to prepare for the the future.Most girls believe marriage is all about going to leave with the one they love and can spend the rest of their lives with etc,that is a very wrong notion,a woman is created to complement a man,help give meaning to his life,thats why the bible refers to us as a help meet, ie someone that has a mission to accomplish in a mans life. when women start thinking towards this direction,it would help in preparing them for the task ahead. as for the man,he must start seeing himself as a man with a divine mandate to establish a generation,he must come to a point where he knows he needs a woman not a girl in his life not just as a companion but also as a complementer,with such mindset his choice would be easier and wouldn't be carried away with vain beauty that is been paraded everywhere. If singles really take out time to think and pray about marriage it would be much more easier.
Just before you say i do, it is not too late to walk out,its better to walk out one minute before your exchange bands than after. Another reason why marriages fail is that people dont truly fear God,if they do,why would you stand before the alter of God been witnessed by friends and family and when crisis come instead of asking God for solutions you would damn Him(God) and walk out from the marriage allowing the devil to have his way.
Friends,if the relationship aint working,it aint working,let go and take some time to work on your selves to give it a 2nd trail,if it doesn't then let it be,dnt allow mere emotions or pity drive you into what you wouldn't enjoy for the rest of your lives. Long courtship or love is not the main criteria why you must marry some one,if you both aint compact able, why push it? family,societal,religious,influences should not be considered when making your choice,reasons been that they would stand by you before and not after the marriage.Also the church and other religious institutions should help prepare couples for life after marriage not only taking them through marriage classes and test but see to their progress after marriage.
Finally,i want to say that we young people should not just look out for someone who has money,prospects etc but also a man/woman that has a teachable spirit,forgiving heart,humble,easy to understand,can let go of grudges and above all, one that fears God from the heart and not lip service,to me this are the basics the rest can be improved upon. Take out time to prepare,for the women,learn to cook,wash,basic home keeping,dnt rely on house maids,develop a particular skill that can generate funds for you to assist the man in running the home(Yes of course,a help meet has to contribute no matter how small) dont  be a liability,be a treasured asset. As for the men,work hard now so your family would be well taken care off,develop other skills to create funds,be a defender and not a nuisance.Read the bible,books and other helpful materials on marriage and look out for a mentor who would influence you positively. I look forward to seeing long lasting marriages. Stay blessed.